Sent home from hospital with no care package

My mum, aged 83, had a knee replacement on Wednesday at an out of our area NHS treatment centre. Nurses rang me the next day to say did I know she was forgetful and difficult, well yes I do and I’ve been working to try to get her to see her GP about it, as I’ve brought it to the GP’s attention, but mum will not go.

Anyway, on Thursday a nurse rings and says I need to find a nursing home, she can’t be home alone. I live a 40 minute drive away and work full time. I organise this no problem. Next day they say she’s scored 10/10 in the Mini Mental Health assessment and I can pick her up the next morning, she is released and it’s all up to me.

There have been plenty of issues since I brought her home yesterday, including paramedics in the first hour because she couldn’t get up from a too low seat that she sat on whilst I was parking the car (yes, the loo seat without the riser). I know I need to call the GP tomorrow and voice my concerns. I have an Urgent Care Assessment booked for Tuesday morning from the local hospital, and amazingly mother has agreed to go into a nursing home for recuperation although she changes her mind every two minutes. I’ve just this minute to,d her I’d like to get her there tomorrow, oh no she said, not that soon. I’m being kind but tough - we don’t have a loving relationship. Btw I have poa over wealth but not health.

I have been with her since I brought her home, I sleep on the landing floor listening out in case anything goes wrong. She cannot even get into bed without me lifting her foot. Tomorrow I go back to work which luckily is about a 20,second walk away for me on Mondays and Tuesdays. I intend to sleep in my own bed tomorrow night! I have always told her I will make sure she is taken care of and I’ve laboured the point that I will not be her carer. I am an only child, as is she.

I’ve seen some of the questions that come up. She is 83, widowed. She has funds and owns her house which is freezing cold and three storeys high, with a stair lift, but with steps between every room. She is using crutches and zimmer but keeps forgetting and wanders off then gets stuck when the pain hits. She refuses pain relief. She has no dementia diagnosis and despite bilateral hip replacements and a mastectomy is generally well. She is very overweight and likes to sit without moving for hours. She is not doing her knee exercises. She has a panic button.

If anyone has any advice or even an ‘I’ve been there!’ It would be great to here it. I think the hospital have failed her but I have to move forward.

Ring the hospital, ask to speak to the CEO and make a formal complaint using the words “Unsafe Discharge”. At very least they should have checked she could manage in her home, and arranged her FREE 6 weeks post op care package, and had all the aids she needed to manage safely in her own home. The hospital now need to arrange for her to move to a nursing home, where she can have the care and rehab she needs. (I’ve had two knee replacements, I’m horrified that they discharged her like this!)

Thank you bowlingbun, it’s not me expecting too much then! I’m on it all tomorrow.

Definitely not, she needs care and lots of physio or the op is pointless, and she MUST take the pills to reduce the swelling so she can do the exercises! Insist she gets the care she needs. The real danger is that otherwise she will be stuck with you forever. I can’t stress this enough!

I’ve spoken with the GP and then the OT at the hospital, Physio is on his way. They will assess her and her home and are thinking carers three times a day and adjustments/additions to the bed so she can get in on her own. I have told everyone I am not staying there tonight, including Mum! Once the carers come to an end they are talking Social Care Reablement, which would be great. Anything to give me some support as she is completely oblivious.

I won’t get dumped on, and I’ve reminded her today that I’ve always said I won’t be her carer.