My relative is self employed. He has cared for his elderly mother up until she collapsed. She is currently in hospital, extremely underweight, cannot walk and is very confused. We gather she is nearing the end of her life and there has been an assessment by social services that she needs 24 hour care. My relative needs to work, he is not able financially to stop, and is basically, exhausted.
I assume the answer is no, but can he be forced to stop working to have her back at home?
Certainly not!!
Social services will have to help provide the care.
A care plan will be put in place prior to any returning home or to a respite centre.
If she is nearing end of life doctors should make an application for NHS Continuing Healthcare. NO OBE can be forced to care for someone else. She needs nursing care for the rest of her life.
No Anne, Your relative does not have any obligation to even try to look after his mum any longer. This is for both their sakes. His because he’s exhausted already and hers because she now needs a team of people to look after her. A task beyond any one carer. Your relative should be proud of the care he has given so far but give up any idea of continuing. Given the assessment they might not even suggest that she returns home but if they do your relative must say no, no and no again. Even if they suggest a care package, leaving your relative with night care, that is too much. If the mother has been assessed as ‘end of life’ then it might not be long and the question might never arise. However even if she rallies and they want to discharge her, he must repay and replay the answer. No, no, no.
KR
Elaine
Anne,
Thank you for taking the time and trouble to enquire on behalf of another family member. Please encourage him to join our forum so that we can support him. Caring so much for so long takes a long time to recover from, so the forum is for former, as well as current carers.
I was dismayed to read Stephen’s post, and have asked to be removed.