New carer, new member

Have just joined hoping to gain support and info.
My mum in law is 96 and my husband and i have had to give up our home to move in with her and i gave up my job, she has carers but still needs 24hr care as she cannot weight bear and has dementia so cannot be left on her own for very long.
Nights are not good sometimes i have to get up to her several times for different reasons.
Any advice would be welcome

Do you still have your own place?
It is time mum in law had outside carers or moved into specialist residential care.
Is she getting Attendance Allowance?
Does she own or rent her home?
Have over £23,000 in savings?
Is your husband an only child? Does he have Power of Attorney?
Has anyone ever mentioned NHS Continuing Healthcare?

At the moment we still have our home in case we need to return, Peggy’s great wish is to die at home so she will not be going into a home, also we promised to care for her til the end, she has carers coming in and i have been a carer for over 25 years so am very experienced and able to care for her. She has her own home but not much savings, do you have advice for night times ?? this is the main thing we need suggestion for.


Social Services don’t fund night care, however if she had NHS Continuing Healthcare, it might be possible.

Thank you, she only gets highest level attendance Allowance, she may be entitled to respite care but honestly don’t think she could cope with it. Husband has no siblings so it’s just us.
Thanks for info.

Sorry,I haven’t explained very well. IF she was granted CHC, then there would be a choice over how her needs were met, free of charge. Staff might be able to stay overnight, to give you a full night sleep, or whatever you felt was best.

Hello Elodie, welcome to the forum.

It’s lovely that you want to honour your mother in law’s wishes and care for her at home, but you also need to take care of yourself and take breaks.

Have a look through our help and advice pages for more information:

Best wishes


Thank you both for your replies, so pleased i have joined the site, think i will make new friends and gain lots of valuable information and advice.