Is there a forum on here for people who are self-employed, running their own business, at the same time as being an unpaid family carer?
I said hello to a couple of people on the welcome & introduction page, but I can’t see a dedicated group for people like me. Apologies if I missed it.
Others in this situation will recognise the reasons why we choose to be self-employed (because it affords the flexibility that a disabled dependent needs) and the challenges (really hard to get work when you can’t commit enough time and energy, always ineligible for financial help).
I’d love to share ideas with others about how to get round the challenges. Like perhaps how has anyone turned this into an advantage? I feel sure that we carers have a lot of skills that will translate very well into an ability to better look after our clients, but that may be hidden by their concerns that our dependents will always have a higher priority than their customer needs.
Any thoughts? Is there a group here?
Cheers,
Daniel
(my business is engineering for sustainability)
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Hi @Daniel I’m not sure there’s another thread dedicated to this, so good for you starting one.
I have my own Ltd business - it’s tiny, mentoring clients around leadership. strategy, marketing- mainly in my previous industry. I’ve also built a website-publication that has subscribers and a small number of paid subscriptions. Both are rewarding. They’re second place to caregiving and somehow fit around things. BUT I’m in a much calmer situation compared to 6 years ago.
I can share some thoughts, but of course, there’d be limits given my time is at a premium in more ways than one. For us carers we know how precious time is, and how we spend it has even more weight and consideration than most.
FYI You may want to check out Substack. Message me directly if you want more specific details as I wouldn’t promote my website here - per our community guidelines
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Thank you - it’s good to even know others face similar situations. I read somewhere that there are 500,000 people who are self employed and family carers.
I apologise that I don’t know about substack - If there’s something useful I can look for it but generally I avoid lots of social media.
What I wonder about is whether others have successfully transitioned from a situation where the two activities (running a business and caring) are both delivered less well because of the other, to a situation where both make the other better. I kind of feel it must be possible, but I’m not sure how yet. This challenge is quite similar to the bigger transition challenges that I address with engineering - from a climate disaster to a climate-stable future, from a pollution disaster to a clean future, from consumerist disaster to a prosperous and happy future… I could apply the same step by step process!
Maybe I’ll share my thoughts in a LinkedIn article: “how to be a brilliant family carer and run a brilliant business” . Look out for it… are we allowed to share links to something like that on this forum?
All the best,
Daniel
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Hi Daniel - I’ve just seen your other post, too: I've just found this forum
@Charlesh47 and @Melly1 can share community guidelines about sharing/promoting a LinkedIn article.
Given your questions and thoughts, may I offer a few well-meaning questions:
- Have you thought about the expectations you’re setting for yourself? Can you articulate what you mean by “be a brilliant family carer and run a brilliant business”
As a single human being with 24hours in a day where you require time to eat, sleep you have finite energy and time.
- What is ‘Brilliant’? What does "success’ look like each day for you?
Reconciling what you can and can’t do, and setting realistic expectations, go a LONG way toward not setting yourself up to fail at both.
My recommendation: avoid perfectionism, and try to avoid self-frustrating - doing things that you know will definitely exacerbate stress, and focus on small consistent wins. I set groundrules and basic understanding with clients to level set expectations…but this also means I decline work. This all depends on the nature of your business. Curating a new normal, can still be ambitious but it’s a personal definition.
Hope that helps
Brilliant to me means stable, having the capacity to continue to meet needs within constraints … so not too ambitious, not greedy. Just enough work to pay the bills and provide the stability to fulfil caring responsibilities.
I have lowered my expectations considerably to minimise overheads and maximise flexibility. Because of the different demands on my time I may have reduced expectations too much… it’s quite possible that I have got the balance wrong and that’s why I struggle to get work.
What I’m thinking about is whether a shift is possible in the way of thinking about this balance, to change from the situation in which caring and work oppose each other and require effort and sacrifice to achieve a balance, and a situation in which they support each other so both can flourish. Instead of striving to make the conflict less bad, I would like to use my energy to make both roles better.
I don’t expect anyone to do this for me, but it would be good to share thoughts with people who might recognise the challenge and be excited about the possibility of a change.
I’ve been caring for my daughter for 25 years, and running a business for 25 as well.
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