Really annoyed with housing

Hi, so I have written alot on here. Mum had her assisted living accommodation assessment yesterday. I don’t know too well about what happened. Mum isn’t the best at communicating, and even worse via text message, so I only got small amounts of info. Her info wasn’t much to go on really, she couldn’t communicate what they said other than a few texted phrases. I got the words ‘high priority’, ‘band B’, and ‘waiting for people to move out’ but I know that doesn’t mean much.

The only thing mum could communicate was how she loved the place, and wanted to be in there. That is great news, but expected news. She told me how she would feel safer and would get to meet friends. Again, I could have told her that ages ago. Nonetheless at least she wants it, but that has never been the battle. I only wish she went on the list sooner.

I have now spoken to the assessor, and well I could not be anymore annoyed at the whole system really. I just feel like they have put me under so much stress unnecessarily.

I spoke to them about the process, and now she has been accepted and how I couldn’t cope with her anymore.

The person I spoke to was obviously higher up, and when I spoke to her about the list she said it was extremely long, and the longest in the area. Again that was a massive worry, but I have been told that a million times. I then went on to try ti ask again just specifically how long this list is. Normally they won’t tell me. She told me that there were 12 people. 12! This extremely long list has only 12 people.

She also told me about the process, and how flats come available all the time. She told me that another one in the area recently had 7 flats come available although mum does not want this one, and I agree with her based on her needs. She also told me about how they choose to accept people, so out of the list of people waiting they will nominate three based on their needs. They say mum needs a generic appartment which are more available, whilst others on the list may need higher needs. So depending on the situation she could be in there in a couple of months.

I am extremely ambivalent really. I am glad it’s moved along and I have got answers, but to put me in extreme stress over a waiting list of 12 people telling me it is extremely long. I am very angry for that, all the sleepless nights, the sickness, the all round anxiety.

Rather than asking how many people are on the list it would be a better question to ask for best and worst scenario re waiting times for your Mum moving in.

I have tried that a million times. They say they just simply don’t know. All I ever got was “how long is a piece of string’ even when I asked could it take decades they responded with we don’t know.

So someone higher up has access to the information/figures, the others you spoke to might not have had that information or might not have wanted you to quote them/be excited for a place when it might not happen depending on the decision making.

The positives, your mothers need has been recognised and she has been put on the list, there is hope of a place for her but it might take a bit longer than indicated depending on places coming up, turnover could be slower.

Fingers crossed it will be sooner rather than later.

Make a Freedom of Information request. Ask for specific details about how many have been on the list for each of the last 3 years. Then ask how many months each waited before being allocated a place.

Officials will never commit themselves because that would sound like a promise, and when the complaint inevitably comes in, they won’t be able to justify it because there are never any guarantees.

It is what it is. A carer I knew fought for years to get a move for her and her highly dependent son to more suitable premises. Sadly, her son died just before the move was due to be agreed.

Could you ask your Mum’s MP to help out? We did that in the end with my daughter. Very recently my friend who is a foster carer had one of her girls reach 18 which is when they leave care. She had applied for social housing already with no luck. My friend was advised to say she was making her homeless then she would get priority but that didn’t work. She involved the local MP and just 4 weeks later was given a very nice flat.

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