So after a long wait, mum has finally been offered a bungalow with a housing association in the area. The bungalow is adapted, and is quite big. Its perfect. She gets the keys on Friday. Lots to sort now too, but hopefully this is more secure for her. However, I am left wondering if its the right decision, but then again I just don’t know anymore. I just cannot keep doing these things.
I just really want to use it as a chance to step away. I have had two breakdowns lately, and I just need support managing her needs. The social worker has stepped away, and were still no closer to finding out what is going on with the mental health team, though I have tried to chase it up twice this week.
I’ve spoken to the carers support service, who are going to look at getting the social worker back on side for support for me. I just feel like I am throwing my life away with all this. I feel like I make decisions alone all the time.
@Coolcar98 your Mum is VERY lucky to have been offered a housing association bungalow so quickly. She really does have to make this work. Since loneliness is a big issue for her she really does need support workers or to attend some sort of day centre or support group. Her GP could refer her for social prescribing too which may help keep her out of mischief.
The thing is she is just useless at most things, and she doesn’t try. All she wants is an easy life with no worries whilst single-handedly making it worse for everyone else. She doesn’t understand how hard life is, and how everything matters these days. We can’t afford to keep moving her.
To be fair this housing association seem to be more supportive. We basically just put all the cards on the table, and said we’ll understand if you say no. They still said yes, they contacted the social worker and everything. I spoke to someone today and they said if they noticed any issues they would contact social services.
I just wish there was someone more involved really.
Personally, I hate mum going to the pub. It just causes so much bother. I’m sick of dealing with idiots.
All I want is a normal life. Had a meeting with my bosses about how terrible I feel. Like everyone my age is having kids (alright I don’t want kids), going on holidays, have their own homes, and are just cared about.
I’m wanting to move out of where I am now. The only way I will get an affordable place is if I move out of the area into the next county. I could go on the housing list in my area, but as someone said to me “there’s not a hope in hell.” The situation is bleak here, and even those in the top banding’s have to wait a while. I’d be low band C maximum.
Whereas if I went on the council list in the next county things are different. It’s abit more complicated because the county is huge. There are places in the city where the villages are just connected so it doesn’t even look like it’s a different council but it is.
But because I have connections to work it would be considered high need, and I could get an additional moderate need for sharing spaces in a shared household. I would be band 4 which although sounds worse, is a much better position than a Band C where I am. There’s a lot more money in that county and sort of less deprivation.
Lucky your Mum. I applied for my Mum and was told to jog on.
With a Band C, in my local authority, you are looking at 5 to 10 years to be rehoused.
If you move to another Council, you will have “no local connection” there unless you work more than 16 hours in that area or have an immediate family member who will support you - you would effectively be a Band E and would have to wait 10 to 15 years.
Your best bet would be to look for private rented accommodation.
Have you looked at spareroom.co.uk or singleroom.co.uk - a lot of landlords now rent out single rooms so all the tenants share the bathroom and kitchen. It works out a lot better for them and you can find properties where there are professionals living there so you won’t have “riff raff”.
Hello Coolcar. This is good news. Please stop doubting whether you are doing the right thing. You have been a power of strength in assisting your mother. Concentrate on making the move work well.