Reaching out, hoping to 'share the load'

Hi there, my first post (I think - i did join a little while ago but can’t recall if i posted or not :confused: )

My wife, now 58, has ‘young onset’ Alzheimers (moderate - severe, 5-6 years on, for context) and I’m looking to reach out to others in the region (S. Devon / Torbay) who may be in a similar situation and looking also to ‘share the load’ perhaps (sorry if an inappropriate phrase / metaphor (wish I knew what that was really :slight_smile:), and/or meet up for a chat (sorry if that sounds like a dating phrase, absolutely not meant…but I do (did) have a GSOH, haha.)

Weekends are the hardest as no structure and ‘filling time’ is increasingly challenging as she engages less and less with things and there’s only so many local walks we can do.

Any offers, ideas, thoughts, help would be most gratefully received.

Thanks in anticipation.

Kind regards

Hi Paul,

welcome to the forum.

Your situation sounds tough.

Do you belong to your local carer’s group/ centre? Support where you live | Carers UK

The Alzheimers Society might run activities near you too h

However, I think the challenge will be finding other carers with a spouse/partner with early onset dementia, however, the memory cafe’s etc that they organise are still worth a try.



I am not local but know what you mean! My husband had been diagnosed with Parkinson’s dementia age 59.

I have lost my best friend, mentally at least and it’s hard. Miss the chat, debate and discussion on general life. Days are endlessly quiet.

Hoping this forum might help me just chat to others for half an hour here and there. Trying to start to go to a dementia group …just feel far too young to be there,

Welcome to both of you. Are you both claiming PIP Care AND MOBILITY?

Have you both claimed exemption from Council Tax on the grounds of “severe mental impairment”?

Thanks all for your replies, and taking the time.

I will try those links and more local online groups (just didn’t know where / how to start) - thanks again.

I am sorry to learn of your situation with your husband, quite tragic and quite impacting / life changing for you both. I don’t have “endless quite”, in fact quite the opposite (much of the time), but still feel similarly isolated…or starting too. I do hope you find some solace soon and wish you both the very best in coping with your futures.

Lastly, “thank you”, we do claim PIPs, which incidentally was recently suspended apparently in response to me registering as my wife’s ‘appointed person’, so i can make calls / enquiries etc. on her behalf to DWP, but thankfully now resolved…just waiting for the last 3 months ‘backpay.’ (I’ve also just applied for the 25% council tax discount as our youngest son has eventually “flown the nest”…thanks to his new bird, haha.)

Happy Sunday all, and tomorrow’s a new day so let’s hope for better things…

Kindest regards,

Thanks all.

Yes we have just got PIIP and I have applied for council tax reduction too.

Another route might be a local Rotary Club too. I have just been passed information that they run a memory cafe. I don’t know if I am looking forward to it or not but good to get out of the house and chat to others.

As my old Mum used to say, “ A positive mind brings positive things! “

You will learn so much from other carers, far more than from Social Services.
We used to have a local Carers Group that organised lunches at pubs, canal trips etc.