Reaching out for support

Hi my name is Julie. I’m currently in a placement caring 24/7 for 87 yr old lady with dementia. I’m struggling as no breaks and not much support from family. Having some hard days. Especially today. Just wanted to reach out to someone who understands. Thanks

Hi Julie and welcome!

Can/do you want to share anything your are particularly struggling with. There are a lots of people on the forum who have loads of experience in this area.

Why are there no breaks for you in place?

The person you care for family must provide you with some support.

Hi Julie,

This is a forum for UNPAID family carers. Presumably your “placement” is paid?

Yes, is it. however…

We are all in this together!!

I feel if we can help we should show empathy. And at least sign post people on in positive way. This can only be done by asking questions.


As a carer of 40+ years, at one time supporting FIVE carees, all entitled to highest DLA, with prostate cancer, bowel cancer, heart issues, dementia, chronic arthritis, to name just a few of their complaints, my reaction was “welcome to my world”!

We have more than enough problems of our own to deal with right now. As a paid employee, there should be a contract of employment etc. etc. As a pensioner I don’t even qualify for Carers Allowance now! We can’t even get our own management to respond to some of our issues right now.


As already posted. Check your contract …
I.e. it could say you are entitled to two hours off each day … or it could be you are three weeks on or three weeks off.

Otherwise it is unsustainable…pretty much like unpaid carers!

But paid Carers is supposed to be different.

Not sure why, but it is.

If your issues are about dementia, then go onto the dementia website and look in their forum.

If your issues are about any caring aspects eg how to to handle the client then refer to your manager for further training - a luxury we unpaid carers do not have, we have to find out what we can however we can.

If your issues are with the family and/or about lack of breaks you need to compare notes with colleagues on the same job and speak with your manager. It might be that they consider there will be breaks during the day when you are not required eg she will fall asleep for naps etc or your manager agreed with the family for you to have breaks and they aren’t being compliant. This is an employment issue, look out for yourself, stand up for yourself - speak with your manager.

If the issue is just about the family, it is a fact of life that there will be some people who aren’t so great and you just have to suck it up and get on with it and think of what you have planned to do in your time off. Get your resilience on board.

We are not employers and are not employed we are unpaid carers without training, paid breaks, time off after shifts, days off, sick leave or holidays. You don’t know how lucky you have got it!