Ongoing saga re Mum, housing & social care / Too many procedures!/ Extremely worried

All about caring
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Hi all,

So yesterday my mum was offered a proprety by a housing association. I applied on her behalf.

I told her last night, and now she is being very awkward about it. I will admit it’s a tiny bit out of her catchment area that she wants but we are talking minutes.

Technically she also would have the best of both worlds because she would be slap bang in the middle of two areas she frequently goes. One being the city centre, and the other being a famous main road with lots of shops.

She’s also complaining saying “it’s a bad area, and it has lots of bad people.” But I keep telling her that it happens to everywhere. This is a secure facility with lots of people her own age.

She’s also whinging about other people in the facility may not be as young as her. It angers me because she can’t decide what she wants.

She doesn’t want to be near bad people, well surely the best response is to move near older/disabled people.

She keeps saying she wants one place and one place only, however this place wants to do a reassessment next week and I don’t know if she will be allowed to stay on the list. (She should be, but this is social services we are dealing with). But she thinks because they are doing an assessment it means something will happen. It won’t she’ll just end up on the waiting list again for god knows how long.

I also think she’s getting peed off about the area, because it’s a further distance away from her local pub. She is literally going to make herself homeless just to show how dedicated to the pub she is.

I told her we can get a bus pass (we were checking her eligibility before all this happened).

There are no council property’s in this area, it’s all private rented and HMO,s. The houses are pre war so they are massive and landlords snapped them up. (My childhood best friend lived in one of them as she was from a big family). This is the nature of the whole area though, all the houses are massive and have been snapped up by landlords.

The facility is everything like the one she wants. Ironically the area it’s in is just as bad. Also think of it this way whilst the place she has been offered is at the end of one main road, this place is at the other.

I told her that if she just takes this one then we can move her again when a place at this facility comes available.

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That’s good - keep repeating this like a broken record. Once she is settled she’ll not want the hassle of moving again and left to her own devices won’t manage to apply, bid and move anyway.

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Hey coolcar98, if your mum is being funny for a place not that far from where she is now, then there something is going on with her. I would walk away from her if she is going to run ring’s around you over a place. I know it hard to accept but it your health comes 1st now, if she is not willing to play ball.

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Coolcar, I think your mum’s behaviour over the new place just demonstrate her inability to think logically and rationally about anything. After all a place to call home is one of the most basic things in life. Maybe those involved are starting to realise this. Sometimes I’ve used the phrase “elderly toddler” here, but your mum is a middle aged toddler. You are being a loving caring daughter, to the detriment of your own life.

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Literally. I agree. I’m trying to do what I can. I know if the right property comes along she would take it. At the last bid there was a bungalow on a street we used to live down. Mum said she would love that one- she came 4th. Hopefully when she’s band A something like this will come up again.

I’ve bid on something for her more as an experiment. Thus is something she definitely won’t want, however I can keep a track of the numbers and see where she ends up. It’s also a test to see what council sheltered accommodation facilities come up as. She’s currently first, but I will pull it before bidding ends.

Hopefully that place mum mentioned will come up. It seems to be the case that bungalows are more in demand than actual facilities. She would prefer a facility.

I also had another therapy appointment today and it’s all just a massive eye opener really.

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Coolcar how long until your Mum is homeless?

There are no perfect properties - buying/renting/social housing/sheltered housing - it has to be best fit. It’s necessary to prioritise and compromise.

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2 posts were split to a new topic: Mum is being awkward about another property

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I’m so pleased the therapy is helping.

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Hey @Coolcar98, at least there is something happening. I know there are too many procedures, I am going through the same thing as well waiting for some sort of action but it that red tape. A good prime example of this outside the care sector was during the Korean war where everytime, the UN side suggested something like the colour of pencil used the communists would object and find several silly reasons to drag it out. Normally the OTs are quick with some sort of a response, it just the admin side of it take it time.

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The bath won’t be a problem if mum has a special bath seat. My own mum was very disabled, she had a “Archimedes” bath seat and had a bath every day using it.

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Interesting, this could be a great shout. Thank you.

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Just worried about another issue. Probs OCD symptoms getting the worse of me again. They are hammering me lately, I’ve been keeping a diary for the therapist.

Mum just mentioned to me that last time she had a pre tenancy interview they mentioned that they needed landlord reference checks.

Mum previously needed them for the extra care assessment in 2022 and they came back extremely fine.

Mum has never been in any rent arrears, only once by about a week just after dad died. Mum was on legacy benefits and had to reapply for universal credit. The landlord understood the situation and gave us the time needed, money was paid as soon as possible and a new agreement was made. No rent arrears at all in 15 years. House is in fairly good nick if not a little old and a few wear and tear.

No structural problems apart from a few tiles which were damaged and abit of damp in the bathroom. Crumbling old dry plaster on wall in my room meant the wallpaper came away slightly, but nothing drastic. Cobwebs on ceiling of upstairs bit, I’m too small to reach them and hate ladders, and mum is too disabled. Sister is partially sighted so cannot use ladders.

Googled this extensively,a website says that the landlord can put if they had to serve an eviction. Obviously mum has been served a section 21 but for no reasoning.

Our only reasoning is that the rent is dirt cheap only £390 and in the current climate it could get at least 50 percent more. Even one bed flats in the area are £200 more.

I’m worried that they will say something about this and hinder mums ability to be housed. No fault evictions should not be allowed!!!

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I think the key words in what you have written are “had to” evict someone. He has surely chosen to evict mum because of greed? According to my son’s letting agency lots of the people on their books move houses regularly, just because they can. M has been in the same flat for 15 years, and in that time the flat upstairs has had at least 5 different tenants, and a lot of redecoration has been done between each of them! So mum’s landlord has been lucky having the same tenant for such a long time! I doubt that the current landlord would make any adverse comments.

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I wouldn’t say greed really. I believe the property was bought a few years back so it could be a case of mortgages going up.

£390 is what I pay for my room only streets away so she’s been on a good thing for a while. Flats by the same letting agents say around £500 for a one bed in the area and that’s down much worse streets.

So I think it would be reasonable to assume this is the case as why else would they do it. Mum is a secure tenant with no issues for the past 15 years.

Either that or I can’t prove it, but they could be saying that they don’t want her anymore for x number of reasons.

No fault evictions are discriminatory in the sense that they allow a landlord to evict someone for no reason. I do not believe that they would evict a well paying tenant and risk getting some family who don’t pay. I believe that they pretend that it’s a non fault meanwhile there is an agenda behind it. There’s always a reason regardless, it’s just whether it’s allowed to be disclosed.

The trouble is I am concerned how this no fault eviction notice could show up on a landlord reference check.

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Mum is continuing to be annoying.

The sheltered place has now gone because I told them she wasn’t interested due to its location.

She has also been offered a bungalow by the council, it’s currently having some repair work done. So we don’t know quite when it will be available. But it’s hers.

We’re allowed to continue to bid otherwise.

Also had the reassessment for the sheltered accommodation yesterday and I had to really fight for her. They agreed to let her stay on the waiting list and said they will reassess in 6 months to show that she’s had a period of stability. Nothing will come up in six months.

I’ve just spoken to her about it, and she keeps saying “I’ve got my heart set on it now, so I really want it.’

She’s saying by taking this property she will be away from people. It’s a two min bus ride away.

I was told a certain property will come available on the budding tonight, but it depends if she comes first.

I’ve had enough with her now.

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@Coolcar98 it is crunch time, and you got to give her a ultimatum that you can’t keep wasting time to try and find places for her if she say it because she he away from people. Find out what work is going on with that bungalow and see if you can visit it and see if it meets her needs. Best of luck.

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Coolcar,

How long is it until your Mum is homeless?

She really needs to accept something that is available.

Does she want to end up in temporary accommodation ie a B&B?!!

Have you applied for an advocate for her yet? One would take the pressure of you.

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I’m also concerned about the stress this is heaping on you. Has mum always been a ditherer? This really is Crunch Time but she seems to be trying to ignore it in the hope it will go away? Is there anyone else close to mum who can stress this to her?

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We went to see the bungalow yesterday just through the window and she likes the look of it.

We have been informed by the council that it needs some repairs, but we don’t know if they will take a couple of weeks, or a month. There is still time.

However, the council has informed us that we are allowed to Withdraw from the property. It will still be allocated should she not be successful with anything else. We have been advised to withdraw as she wouldn’t be allocated another property if she came first for it. By withdrawing it she will be able to.

We are also waiting for the homeless application to be put through, we are on week 5 now and nothing. We were told there was a seven week wait. Once it goes through we were told she would more than likely be put on Band A, as she would have two priority needs Homelessness and Medical needs.

I don’t want to sound entitled but we weren’t informed that the house needed work when we bid on it. They said they are aware the section 21 ends next month. I am aware that there is an extension to this.

I’ve seen a property come up on the bidding today, and I know the council can offer direct lets. I’ve bid on it but she is currently second and its only been live a few hours. A extremely similar property came available a couple of doors away last week, and mum came 4th. And again there was a third property here two weeks ago it was removed for a direct let case so I know it can be done.

As I have said before, the council should take homeless applications on a case by case basis. Someone with a priority should be put in a different category as per their needs. At the end of the day mum is only being considered for Sheltered Accommodation/ flats with lift access and ground level. The general public cannot apply for these propreties.

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If mum likes the bungalow, why not just end the dithering and take it, now? Then the stress is gone, the landlord won’t mind waiting a few extra days if it saves the legal costs of eviction, and you and mum have time to sort out before moving.

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