NT married to an ND, lonely, frustrated

Dating my ND spouse was very nice in the beginning . I received flowers and cards, nice compliments, endless dates, phone calls and text each day for 3 years straight. However, immediately following the wedding ALL OF THAT STOPPED! Now I’m crying from loneliness very often, I never hear I Love you, receive nice compliments, hugs or kisses. Sex, is becoming non existent. When I mention sex, he seems frustrated and is lazy in bed. He watches television ALL DAY LONG, and he plays games on his phone. Each night he rolls to his side, with his back facing me and falls asleep. No interest in any sort of intimacy. I feel like I’m married to a complete stranger/roommate. I’m so upset, hurt and feel sick to my bones. Why are we married if we’re not going to be companions.

What is ND?


Hi Blue,
Being ND often means the person needs to be told what the other person needs in a relationship.

Your partner probably had previous experience of dating for knew what was required. They haven’t been married before (I assume) and therefore apart from the aspects they saw of their parent’s marriage, probably have little idea of what makes a good one.

As far as they are concerned they have met their end goal.

There are some books written on mixed relationships/ marriages (ND and NT) that might help both of you see each other’s point of view and ways to move forward. Have a google.