No one to talk to

Been caring for many ma for 2 years not much help from Bromley social services. Think there waiting for her to have a bad fall. Got 4 sisters that don’t help ma don’t own the house .

Hello & Welcome Tommo
You can certainly talk away on here.
Do you live with Mum and how old is Mum and how old are you. What are Mum’s disabilities?
Are there things you are concern about and need help.
When you say don’t own the house. Does that mean Mum does and you don’t. Or both Mum and you don’t own the house. The fact you have mentioned the house. Is that causing you some concern.
Unfortunately, caring in a family can fall to one person. Why do your sisters not help you and your Mum?

Hello Tommo

You can also come along to one of our online zoom ‘Care for a Cuppa’ sessions.
I’ve attached a link here for you - please do think about coming along, many of our carers join us on a Monday afternoon for an hour or so. It’s a great way to meet other carers who are in a similar situation, support each other and share tips. There’s no pressure to share anything you’re not comfortable with. We also run Share and Learn sessions also on the link attached.
It would be great to see you there

with best wishes

I’ve been caring for my mum for a couple of years now and I work full time with insane hrs and over last year I had no let up with work, and with mum having frequent falls visits to the hospital became more regular,
This year a complete change has happened , I’ve turned into a full time carer overnight, its turned my work life upside down.
I have no sibling support, which means I work nights to earn a wage and come back to the house in the morning and care for my mum. My mum can no longer walk independently and hasn’t been outside for months, I have ran around getting every possible support for her making sure she can keep moving forward.
But right now I’m exhausted, isolated from the rest of world, I don’t socialise that well with others well so social media i don’t do. For the 1st time in a long time I feel like not going to work tonight or tomorrow and yet I can’t pull out. There no support in my working world, literally no support.

Patricia, something has to change.
Tell us more about mum’s situation and we might be able to help.

Hi Bowlingbun, where do I start,my mum had the 1st vaccination earlier this year, after a couple weeks I came home from work and saw my mum didn’t look good, the she was holding her self I thought she was having a stroke and ask if she was ok, she explained of severe pain and she couldn’t move. I so called 111 and they sent the paramedics who responded quickly.
The hospital kept her for a few days with six weeks home care. Since then my mother lost her independence to walk independently.
Before the vaccination mum had pain due to her conditions ,the vaccine i feel has advanced her conditions, my mum has scoliosis, neuropathy from the waste down, osteoporosis with paralysis from the left ankle down.
Although I have managed to get a support team for her and the support team i think are doing well, we are months down the line and not much as changed and I know its down to my mums mind-set, she still believes she with improve she refusing to come to reality which is now creating tension in the house,
I had to switch from days shifts to nights so that I could support my mum in the daytime i.e shopping, cleaning etc etc. Where I’ve had to booked sleeps in its lead to exhausted and has affect my work, and to a stupid mistake I made last week i was removed for site with immediate effect, it was completely out of character for plus we lost a family member week.
I had no support from from manager what so ever even he is aware of my change circumstances.

The time has come for mum to move into residential care.
You can’t keep going like this, it’s not fair on you, or your work. The family are letting you slave away and doing nothing to help, so they have forfeited any right in what you decide next.

My mum had hyperostosis, a rare condition but she was bent double in the end. The nerves to her legs kept getting pinched by her spine, causing her to fall over, especially at night (twisting to flush the toilet was the biggest culprit I think). Finally she was told she must never try to stand again. She needed to be hoisted in an out of bed for the rest of her life.

Ring her GP, and Social Services, and say you CANNOT care for mum any more.
They need to arrange emergency carers, or emergency respite.
You have to be firm.