Tips for Newbie carer

Hi, I’ve recently became a 24-hour carer for my mum. She suffered a massive stroke and is partly paralysed, she also has trouble with memory and her sight. But her behaviour is the worst. She changed drastically, became angry, impulsive. She is screaming at me constantly. I’m trying to be patient, but it’s really hard.

Don’t know what to do. Thanks in advance for all of the advice. And I’m sorry if I’ts not appropriate topic.

Hi Evie,

It sounds as if mum should never have been discharged to your care, and that it’s not possible long term?

Can I ask a few questions to help make suitable decisions about where to go from here?
How old is mum?
Where did she live before her stroke?
Did she own or rent her home?
Does she have over £23,000 in savings? (Yes/No)
Do you have Power of Attorney?
Do you have any brothers and sisters?

Now a bit more about the hospital.
How long was mum in hospital for?
What happened before she was discharged?
Did she have an NHS Continuing Healthcare Assessment - for free care for life?
Did they talk to you about the extent of mum’s disability, mental as well as physical?
Was there a care planning meeting?
Was 6 weeks free reablement care arranged?
Did someone visit your home and arrange aids?
Were you asked if you wanted to care for her? You have an absolute right NOT to care!

Finally, a bit about you.
Age?
Were you working or retired when mum became ill?
Do you own or rent your home?
Do you want to care for mum, or would you like mum to move into residential care?