Mum - 82 hoarder - some dementia signs, she not able to care at all for self
Stepdad in hospital & main carer & mental health issues
Me: work full time, support them really only by popping in, odd shopping & nipping in when called - now in house providing mum everything whilst step dad on hospital
Discovered lots of things not good in terms of ongoing hoarding - don’t know where to start
I can’t do it - my mum is difficult, paid off debt for them as they are running up catalogue debt for stuff not need - duplicate mowers/kettles/mountains of clothing/bits of tissue everywhere
I have been working 7 days a week to pay car loan so tired anyway
Don’t know where to begin - think she should be in home - I can’t do it she drives me batty, step dad now in hospital refused any care in past, looks like they get AA - I’ve done all since Sunday, currently also trying to clear house - tripping issues, stuff everywhere, I’m sleeping at house
Mum toenail and fingers - toes look like snail shells on them
Emailed work Sunday to say won’t be in as need to look after mum until I get help
I’m already at end of tether after just 2 days - she won’t go in stair lift for me to shower her (not had shower since Covid outbreak), can’t get her to drink, she has no conversation, complains about what she’s given to eat, won’t use commode & she’s doing all business in incontinence pads - I’m cleaning her up each bathroom episode
I was told Sunday to wait till today to ring GP as OOH not their issue, social care said couldn’t help because ECAS/CRT on bank holiday & to ring back OOH but then they never called back, rang social care again & they took details & then told me to ring OOH & then had to literally appeal for them to check mum out yesterday as she has tremor head & keeps smacking lips together, swollen ankles, feet worst I’ve ever seen bunions, etc
I can’t do this, I work full time, my relationship with mum & step dad never great as they are both impossible with step dad bipolar & mum just being toxic/lazy/narcissist - my brother lives NZ & other brother not bother with mum (she is impossible) & me that only one that tries to help but arms length - just don’t know what to do - already knackered & mum snuggles a little bear when she goes to bed & that just finished me off - sorry for long post I feel like horrible daughter, feel like I’ve been one to neglect & upset that when gp called to step dad when he alerted them to a fall (had to force step dad to call dr) gp still let stepdad carry on providing care to mum & obvious mum nees full care & now he’s in hospital
Any pointers on where to start please, 1st stop is GP surgery this morning to ask for them to put her in care but reading it takes 500 calls to get through. Sorry for rant I’ve just woken up with mind whirring - my hubby being supportive but he despairs of my mum & step dad & wants to drive us all off a cliff (he won’t but that gives an idea) it seems that lots of people have similar stories & any pointers welcome. Thank you
I’m Cardiff area