At last there are some reports in the media about care homes being forced by the NHS to take in patients from hospitals at the height of the pandemic.
Previous reports were blaming the government for this but it was the NHS Managers who were forcing homes to take in patients from hospitals. I said from the start that my Mum’s home Manager told me she didn’t want to take in anybody at all coming from hospital but was made to. She and all local care homes were phoned and told that if they had empty rooms they must be filled.She said “no” but was told she had no choice. She then insisted that as they arrived by ambulance a member of her staff would go on the ambulance in full PPE, take their temperature and look at their notes and if anything looked suspicious she would not allowed them off the ambulance.
Thankfully they have had no cases of coronavirus whatsoever in the home.
This has been one advantage of my mother’s care home being in “special measures” - no new residents have been allowed since last year (occupancy is now under 50% of the norm!).
I am still waiting for the rules to be relaxed re care home visiting. i can see my poor old Mum deteriorating mentally and it’s very sad.
We still get one 20 minute visit at an appointed time once a week. not allowed in the main building. Mum wears a visor which she hates and I wear a mask. We sit about 10ft apart and now have a glass screen between us too.
Because of the social distancing we can’t share photos, look through magazines etc and I miss brushing her hair and painting her nails.
She went to hospital for an Xray last week and that was the first time she had been out since last October. It was too cold in the winter, then lockdown came and she’s been in ever since. it is just all so awful.
I don’t understand why you have to wear a mask and your Mum a visor, if you are separated by a screen. That’s madness.
Since care staff are providing hands on care for residents, it is hard to understand why relatives (wearing the same PPE as staff) cannot do the same.
My Mum lives on her own and she has mobility problems, she had a fall coming in from the garden and that coupled with shielding due to being over 80, means she has totally lost her confidence. She hasn’t left home for months either and since her fall hasn’t been into the garden on her own either. When S and I were doing food parcel deliveries we came across a lot of isolated people too. I think a lot of the elderly and disabled will have lost confidence and lost mobility due to the pandemic and restrictions.
Mum is deteriorating and I was told I could go in last Tuesday. Full PPE, temp taken etc but I was allowed in to her room with the door closed for half an hour. She is very sleepy but we managed a laugh together. She is in bed. She is really comfy and clean and says she is in no pain. She is on painkillers after having two falls and fracturing a small bone in her shoulder. She has a catheter in because of bladder retention and the staff now do her stoma for her as her legs have given way.
I was allowed in again yesterday for an hour and she was brighter. No other visitors are allowed in the home.
The doctor visited yesterday and then phoned me but unfortunately I was unable to understand a lot of what he was saying as his English was very poor. I know he meant well but I then had to turn it around and tell him what I wanted for Mum as I couldn’t understand what he was asking me. I said that my priorities are that she is pain free and comfortable and that she stays there and does not go to hospital. We completed an End of Life Plan A couple of years ago at the home and they were her wishes. He says there is now a form that replaces that but I said “well just clip them together because that’s what she wanted”. I bet he thought “we have a right one here!”.
If mum made her wishes clear, who on earth decided they were out of date!!!
That’s the whole point of saying what you want when you still have capacity, for a future when you might not have it!
Well done for speaking up for mum, but it takes a real emotional toll on you as well. Be extra kind to yourself this weekend.