Rules on hospital?

I had to take my mother to hospital, they took around 6 hours to decide she needed to see a different team, she has, dementia, COPD, hear failure, AF, osteoporosis, Kidney failure. She had to go to hospital as her foot was so painful, first they said cellulitis, then they said maybe an abscess inside her foot. First of all they say I can sit with her, then they moved her to the MAU ward and I was told I had to leave, I live approximately 20 miles away from the hospital a 40 minute journey, my mother asked me at least 20 times where am I while I was there with her, she finds it very distressing to be in hospital and away from me and my sister. This is her 3rd time since lockdown, the last time I was sent for to collect her, we waited outside for her to be brought out i was told they would explain her drugs to me at that point, well she came out in hospital trousers in a wheelchair pushed by a porter no nurse her hair uncombed all dishevelled it was heartbreaking, they gave me a list of her drugs and that was it. Well this time they said they would treat her and she could go home, but they wanted me to sit in a car park until whatever time they decided they could deal with her. They got 2 security guards to see me off the premises and expected me to wait in the car park for news! Well I am sorry I left, and my sister called them and told them they would now have to sort out transport, new medications all of them as she does not have them at home as she cannot remember to take them, she is on about 20 different drugs, and a new enablement plan. All because they would not allow me to wait with her. I was very upset at having to leave her, last time in hospital she dialled 999 and called the police as she was frightened. I thought carers were allowed to sit with vulnerable paitents.

I am so sorry that you have had this experience. I am sure that others will be along with better advice than I could ever give but just to say I empathise with you. I have been having a horrid time with the hospital my father is in - and to seems to have got worse through the coronavirus. The lack of respect sometimes shown towards family and carers is extraordinary. Some seem to just want us there when it suits them ( to collect belongings, transport patients etc) but dont otherwise show any respect for our contribution or want us involved.

I fear that the adoration that the NHS has received (in many cases I am sure it is deserved but not all) may make things even harder for us - by making some NHS staff even more arrogant and difficult to work with. I do wish there was a greater understanding of. the importance of carers and the tireless contribution many make.

Your Mum is lucky to have you - I am sorry people who are meant to care make I even more difficult. Hope you get an answer to your question - so far my experience has been that visiting policies and the presence of carers seems to be decided on an individual case: I never know if I will be allowed in or not despite having visitors passport!!

That is very weird, everything you have said is weird. Like not being able to sit with the vulnerable patient and the fact she has tried 20 different medications. The best thing the doctor should be doing is not changing medications so often, its not good. Sometimes the medication takes time to work as it has to adjust to eating and drinking style, and health style. I suppose the doctor knows best, it just seems strange.

No i did not say she tried 20 different medications, she is on about 20 tablets, and then theres the puffers, pain patch, eye drops. she is very poorly.


I am sorry you are having such a difficult time.
Sounds horrendous.


Carers have to deal with all sorts if situations that Joe Public could never comprehend.

Contact the PALS Office at the hospital and ask for a copy of their “Carers Policy”. Every hospital is supposed to have one.