Newish Carer, help needed

Didn’t realise that what I do each day for my partner can be classed as being a carer but here i am.

He’s an alcoholic, at the moment he cycles between drinking and detoxing and has just had a head on crash in a car he wasn’t insured to drive.

What I need help with is what help, personally and financially can I get?
He is in receipt of UC and PIP. He doesn’t function on a day to day basis, cant cook, clean himself, housework doesn’t get done, half the time he can’t get off the sofa or doesn’t want too, the list goes on but how will my claim for caters allowance affect his benefits?

I’m taking baby steps here, I know I need a lot more help, personally, but sadly to say, money comes first so knowing what I can claim for starts to take a burden off my shoulders so any advice is greatly appreciated.


Welcome, definitely a carer. Why do you stay when he only cares about booze? Who owns your home?

Hi Claire,

Welcome to the forum!

I’m sorry to hear about your situation, that must be very challenging and stressful for you. Your own mental health is equally important so please reach out to services if you think you might need help such as Mind or GP.

Hopefully Carers UK can give you some advice in relation to:
Benefits and financial support
Your rights as a carer in the workplace
Carers’ assessments and how to get support in your caring role
Services available to carers and the people you care for
How to complain effectively and challenge decisions

Our Telephone Helpline is available on 0808 808 7777 from Monday to Friday, 9am – 6pm or you can contact us by email ([]

You may also find the Citizens Advice Bureau helpful also. More details can be found on this link:

Best wishes


Hi Claire

What age are you and your partner?

I sense you are in distress because of your partner’s alcohol dependence and the benefits issue while being very important is just one issue.
You say that he is in a cycle of drinking and trying to not drink which is typical of someone who is ambivalent about wanting to stop.
Is he getting any help from anyone? Does he attend AA meetings?
You need to look after yourself there are online meetings for Alanon.
You are obviously assuming a caring role and it’s a very tough position to be in . Would you still be a carer if he managed to sober up and maintain sobriety long term?
Some excellent advice has already been given here about whom to contact regarding your benefits