New to using this forum

I am introducing myself as instructed for this new forum. I don’t understand all the jargon that websites often have. Too complex for me! My name is Chris. I have been a member for quite a while. I have been a Carer for both parents over a period of 10 years. My dear mother passed away on May 5th. She was the centre of my life, and I now feel lost and heart broken , isolated and lonely. I lived part time with her, as leaving my own home was not an option. I have been tired before and since, and put on weight which has not helped me feel better. I think about her and Dad every day, and miss them. I am worn down by the new admin work to do now, as well as batteles with my own Energy Company whose prices have become untenable for me to afford. Most of the year my own home has been very cold with the boiler off, and Mums very warm, as she has needed good heat, while ill over the last winter and bedridden. Luckily her savings could cover this, but mine do not. I have missed these years of work opportunity and better pay. There fore a bit negative about my own future. I try to live for the day as that’s my main option, and enjoy the small things of life, like the sunshine, a good cup of coffee, good friends, and painting. I was an Art Teacher and therapist for many years, so can enjoy that, and want to help more people with that, and counselling.

Aaron, what does this mean? the BBC and HTML words above that have vanished now?
I hope I am doing this right. I feel as if I am posting into a abyss of potential friends who might not show up! how do we hear what other people are saying? How can I support other people. I can’t see or hear them at present. I can’t absorb all the information on these pages, Perhaps a 1,2,3, steps for beginners to get involved would help?


Hello Chris
Firstly I am sorry to hear of your Mother’s passing.
This last winter has been very hard for most Carers - what with the very cold weather and the cost of living crisis.

I think you might find our “Care for a Cuppa” sessions helpful - details can be found on our main website here: Care for a Cuppa | Carers UK

Tips and Guidance on using this new version of our forum can be found in the blue highlighted box at the top of the page. BBC and HTML are just codes relating to how the forum was set up and are, really, only of interest to the techies !!

You will see that I’ve moved your posts into a new topic “New to using this forum” of your own in the New To Carers Connect sub section - to ensure that you receive notifications of replies you may need to set your preferences. To do this click on your Avatar picture (top right hand corner) which will bring up a small menu - then click on the downward pointing arrow at the bottom of that menu. This will bring up a new page - click on the Preferences link (top right) and you can start editing your account details. Go to Emails to confirm you should be notified when someone replies.

A number of us (even the moderators !!) are still finding our way around as this version is quite different to the old forum.

Chris, the old forum used to have a lot of information for people in your situation. I’ll ask if it can be revived. Try to enjoy the good weather, you have a lot of healing, mentally and physically to do.

Welcome Chris.
I am glad u are reaching out, be kind to yourself,

Thankyou bowlingbun !

Thankyou Ula, hope you are well. Yesterday My energy company took hundreds of pouds out of my account. I can’t afford all this, and have used very little heating for 10 months now!
I will have to get rid of the fridge I think next! I am also out a lot, now Mum is gone. Enjoyed the sunshine today.

Dear Christine
So sorry you have so much worry with energy company and money .
I am sure you are seeking help, citizens advice is my go to for things like money worries. However, It takes ages for them to answer calls in these difficult times so I hope you have time and resources you need to access help. I sometimes sit at my work place typing away and having my phone waiting for an hour on speaker while I am in a que for support call for something, very tension inducing.
At least the sunshine is free, apart from sunscreen :flushed:
Warm wishes Ula


Money worries on top of dealing with grief is very hard.

Utility bills are horrendous, we used our heating as minimally as possible and they were still high (plus we have a wood burner). Currently although the cost of fuel is going down, the standing charges aren’t. Please don’t get rid of your fridge as it wouldn’t make a huge difference and you’d have problems storing food safely. Buying food meal to meal, day to day costs more too.

The helpline should be able to offer other avenues of support too:

You can email us at and we will respond to your enquiries within 10 working days, although it can often be sooner.

Our telephone helpline providing information is open from Monday to Friday between 9am and 6pm - 0808 808 7777

Hello Christine

Thanks for posting in Carers Connect. I’m sorry to hear about the recent loss of your mother and the difficulties you’re experiencing with energy bills.

As Melly1 suggests, please email the Carers UK Helpline at for advice on next steps you can take regarding your energy bills - you should receive a response within two to three days.

I would also suggest having a look through this section of the Carers UK website which contains information on coping with bereavement and life after caring.

This link take you to a video recording of a session focused on energy costs which you might also find helpful:

Wishing you well in the coming weeks and I hope you’ll be able to join one of our Care for a Cuppa sessions,