New to the forum but been a carer for 8 years

Hey everyone. I’ve been caring for my mum who has lupus, arthritis and many other health issues for the past 8 years and it’s safe to say I’m burnt out… I was cheated on nearly 2 years ago and I’ve had to carry on like normal with no support from my siblings, which obviously means I’m in no way “healed” from that experience and all I’m told from my mum is how much I’ve changed… yes, I’ve changed because despite being bullied all my life by one of my sisters, I’ve also had to deal with the trauma of seeing my mum deteriorate every day (I live with her) and the trauma of being cheated on. I’m currently waiting for therapy which isn’t easy to get as I’m sure some of you may know. I guess I’m just looking for a place to let all my feelings out, without being judged. Thank you :bouquet:


Hi @Milly934

Welcome to the forum. It sounds like you are having a tough time.

Does your Mum have any support from outside carers?

Thanks so much. She’s under the care of doctors but no one else, I am able to have a social life and she’s very understanding and caring… but it’s very hard to make friends these days or even have the energy to to out. Does that make sense?

Hi Milly, welcome to the forum. You sound completely burned out. My own mum made some very “unhelpful” comments about me too, when I was newly widowed, newly disabled with a brain damaged son! Something needs to change for you. If you could give us a bit more info it would help us work out some ideas.
Does mum own or rent her house?
How old is mum? You?
Have over £23,000 in savings? Yes/no.
Claim disability benefits?
Do sisters provide any hands on care, or just give you “advice”!
When did you last have a proper holiday??
You cannot be forced to provide ANY care!