New to site

Hi I’m Gail and new to the site and forum … but not New to caring. I.cared for my dad with agency intervention until he passed away two years ago, then mum asked me to stay as she couldn’t manage alone. I work part time for a large supermarket and they are fabulous with understanding my situation, but I have had to reduce my hours to the minimum as mums needs have become more since this damn pandemic situation (we were both shielders).
Now i have reduced hours I know I will be entitled to carers allowance as mum had attendance allowance, but they want proof of earnings with three payslips, which means three months of reduced money. I hoped a statement from my employer would help but apparently it has to be payslips.
Has anyone else had any experience of this and is there a way around it?
Hoping to make some good connections on here with people in the same situation. I’m in the Portsmouth area.
Thanks for reading

Hi Gail and welcome,

You are lucky to have an understanding employer, makes all the difference.

I’m afraid I’m not very knowledgeable about Carers Allowance, others may be a long who have experience and can help you. If not, you could contact the helpline

You can email us at > > and we will respond to your enquiries within 10 working days, although it can often be sooner.

Our telephone helpline providing information is open from Monday to Friday between 9am and 6pm - 0808 808 7777


Hi Gail,

Welcome to the forum. I understand that mum wants you, but do you want to reduce your hours?

Elderly people tend to focus entirely on themselves, without thinking that their children have other responsibilities and calls upon their time. Do you have your own home, a partner, children?

What is mum’s financial situation? Does she own or rent her home?
Does she have other children?
Do you have Power of Attorney?
Is mum able to do anything for herself?
How old is she?

Thanks for the info people.
I live with mum in her house which she now owns outright.
I need to be with her first thing and meals, she had macular degeneration which has deteriorated rapidly and there is nothing that can be done. The rep from the blind society said that although you don’t go officially blind it’s bad enough that it makes life very difficult and you have hallucinations.
Also she has the onset of dementia and nearly gassed us with the oven.
Anyway it was a decision I made to reduce my hours to make sure I do what I need.
Hardest job in the world I know but I need to be there

Hi Gail,
Welcome to the forum!
You’re not alone, we are sure that many on here will understand exactly how you feel and offer support. Caring can be very lonely and the pandemic has made caring responsibilities challenging as many carers have been socially restricted and unable to attend social groups etc.

If you would like to attend a virtual social, Carers UK are running online weekly meet ups for carers to take some time for themselves and chat to other carers. Feel free to join if you’d like to and there’s no pressure to share anything you don’t want to.

You can find information on how to register to our online meetups at the following pages:
Care for a Cuppa: Online meetups | Carers UK - the next meet up is Tuesday 4th May. This meet up is a great way for you to just relax if you can and have a talk to others that may be in a similar situation to you and able to other further advice.

Share and Learn: Share and Learn | Carers UK - if you would like to have a look at the range of activity sessions on offer, please follow the above link.

Also, the Citizens Advice organisation might be able to further assist you specifically relating to paperwork and finances-

And our Carers UK Telephone Helpline is available on 0808 808 7777 from Monday to Friday, 9am – 6pm or you can contact us by email (

The advice and support Carers UK may be able to provide covers a range of subjects including:

Benefits and financial support
Your rights as a carer in the workplace
Carers’ assessments and how to get support in your caring role
Services available to carers and the people you care for
How to complain effectively and challenge decisions

Best wishes