New to Forum

Hi . And thank you for this forum.
I am 68 and have recently taken redundancy from a full time job which I have loved for the last 27 years . I am divorced. 2 children and a part time partner . He has his own house too.
My mum is 93 and at the moment lives on her own with carers morning and evening and myself the rest of the time.
She has mobility issues and failing eye sight .
Today I realised it won’t be long before she cannot manage on her own .
I am scared if I am honest. Maybe selfishly I was looking forward to my retirement especially with a new grandson.
I may be asking for advice and support from you lovely people

The answer is not to have her live with you, but to arrange more and more care for her in her own home.
Is she claiming Attendance Allowance?
Who pays for the carers?
Does she own or rent her home?

Hi Carol,
Wishing you a Warm Welcome to the forum.

Is there a social worker involved or have the carers that come in to care for your mum raised any concerns about her change in circumstance? Its ok to feel scared. Carers UK may be able to provide you some advice and guidance surrounding issues like:

Benefits and financial support:
Carers’ assessments and how to get support in your caring role
Services available to carers and the people you care for
How to complain effectively and challenge decisions

Our Telephone Helpline is available on 0808 808 7777 from Monday to Friday, 9am – 6pm or you can contact us by email (

Best Wishes,


There’s nothing selfish in this at all. Your retirement as you envisaged it will slowly but surely fade away if you’re dragged into long term caring for someone - mine has.

I agree with Ajay. Retirement should be enjoyed. It’s a long time coming! I had 1year of enjoying mine, ( after continuing working for an extra 3 years). Them my lovely husband had strokes, vascular dementia and other issues, the plans were snatched away. He died 2years ago, and was just about adjusting to doing things without him, covid happened.
So obviously make sure your Mother has care, that you can ’ care manage’ which certainly won’t be selfish, and enjoy the things you want to do.