New to forum - new to caring situation

Hi everyone,

I just wonder if anyone else has had a similar experience. I really need some support as to where we go and what we do now. My Dad who had been in full time care for 12 years following a disabling stroke recently passed away. A few days later my 83 year old Mum was taken into hospital with a blocked bile duct which was fixed under local anaesthetic. She started showing signs of delirium in hospital and was at times agitated and saying awful things. She then developed a UTI which made it worse. All 8n all she was in hospital 3 weeks. She has been home for nearly a month but despite the UTI disappearing her delirium hasn’t. She hears a voice that mostly tells her awful things and makes her so upset and agitated that some nights she can’t be left alone. I had her at the Dr and he spent a lot of time talking to her ( over 30 mins) and ruled out any medical reason. I have to say for her age she was good mentally until this. He said it should recede over time but it has escalated. I really don’t know what to do . Luckily I live 2 mins away but with a full time job and my own household to run, I don’t know where to go next. She needs help from a professional mental health person.

She needs to either go back into hospital or a nursing home. They should never have sent her home like this!
Has she been having her FREE 6 weeks of Reablement Care?
Did the hospital do a Carers Assessment and talk to you about whether or not you were in a position to care for her at all?

I would ring the hospital, ask to speak to the CEO’s office, and speak to the PA.
Make a formal complaint and be sure to use the “magic” words UNSAFE DISCHARGE.

(My grandson is here today, will be back later today).

Hello Moya

I wanted to wish you a warm welcome to the forum and to highlight some of the options for connecting with fellow carers and for getting support from Carers UK should you need it.

Carers UK are running online weekly meet ups for carers to take some time for themselves and chat to other carers. Feel free to join if you’d like to and there’s no pressure to share anything you don’t want to. I’m sure you’ll find others in a similar position to yourself.

You can find information on how to register to our online meetups at the following pages:

Care for a Cuppa: Online meetups | Carers UK
This social is a great way to have a little break if you are able to and spend some quality time talking to people who understand what you are going through right now.

Share and Learn: Share and Learn | Carers UK
These sessions range from creative writing activities to beginners Latin dance sessions.

There is also Carers UK’s helpline should you need advice or support - Our Telephone Helpline is available on 0808 808 7777 from Monday to Friday, 9am – 6pm or you can contact us by email (

kind regards

Heya and welcome.

Hi Moya,
the hospital definitely shouldn’t have sent her home to be on her own in that state. Poor thing.

I think I’d be inclined to call an ambulance as she can’t stay home like that. If being discharged it should have been to rehab or an assessment placement in a residential home.