New to caring

Hello I am relatively new to caring and would be grateful for some advice please.
I am caring for my elderly father who has lung disease and heart failure. He is on oxygen 24/7 and housebound. He has told me that he is uncomfortable in his clothes and therefore is staying in bed. I have tried getting him bigger clothes however these are still uncomfortable. He gets very cold as he is just skin and bone.
Does anyone have any ideas or tips that I could use to help him? It’s a shame for him to be stuck in bed all day, he is really with it mentally so will go stir crazy up there on his own.
I really would be very grateful for any advice and assistance.
Thank you,

Hi Sarah … welcome to the canteen.

Sorry to learn of your current situation.

No tips … just a thought … CHC / NHS Continuing Healthcare ?

In particular , care at home ?

Main thread :

One section of particular interest :


( Thanks BB ! )

Certainly worth exploring … for both your sakes !

As it stands … NEEDS / CARERS assessments from your LA … in course ???

Needs … Getting a social care needs assessment - NHS

Carers … Carer's assessments - NHS

I trust the above will prove to be … useful ?

Welcome to the forum. How old is dad?

Is he getting ANY help from outside carers?
Does he have a reclining chair, my disabled mum found hers more comfortable than being in bed, even 48 hours before she died.
Has he got any stretch jersey clothes? Pyjamas, track suit type material, or similar?
Does he have over £23,000 in savings?
Do you have Power of Attorney?
Claiming Attendance Allowance?

I’m used to autistic children who can’t tolerate clothes, but have no experience of people in your father’s position. Is he naked in bed or does he tolerate pyjamas?
Can he explain what is irritating him about the clothes - the seems/ too stiff/ too rough/ chaffing/ rubbing etc if he can explain that would help. Trying different styles/ fabric might help.
In the meantime could he be wrapped up in a duvet on the sofa/ in an armchair. Massaging his skin before putting on clothes might help de-sensitive his skin and make the clothes more tolerable.


Hi Sarah and welcome. Sorry to hear about your father. It sounds to me like he has poor circulation which would make him cold.
I used to suffer from ‘white finger’ in the cold weather and then I started eating root ginger (tiny amounts every day). You can buy root ginger in supermarkets. Within days my circulation improved and I never get ‘white finger’ anymore. Root ginger won’t do your father any harm but it is very potent so give him tiny amounts in home made soups or stews or even raw on cereals/cakes etc.
Anothrr idea to keep him warm is to buy him a Heat pad. A Heat pad is like a hot water bottle but you just plug it in and you get continuous heat. Chemist sell them or online.
As for the clothes issue - all I can suggest is try different materials and fabric softener to see if that helps. Let us know if anything helps.

Thank you so much for your replies.
He’s 81 and bright as a button which makes it even harder to see him struggling. I have asked him what it is that makes him uncomfortable and he just can’t explain it. Just that it is his skin. So I’ll get him to apply some cream and try some jersey material clothing.
I hadn’t thought of a heat pad that’s a great idea. Yes he has bad circulation, his lack of oxygen means he struggles getting blood circulating.
Thanks again for your help.
Sarah xx

Your welcome.

Don’t disgard those links … nor BB’s questions … both of you may regret It

I bought my mum, when very frail and always cold, a furry electric throw, I thought it was lovely, but like most things I bought, she never got round to using it. So frustrating for me. It was washable too.