New to all this....

Hello all :slight_smile:

I come in peace…

Just started caring for both parents. Talk about in at the deep end. Dad diagnosed MND in April. Mum diagnosed with signs of early dementia today (had waited over 6 months for assessment, done over video consultation); awaiting results to determine which kind she has.

I was really hoping that she would be ok, since Dad’s diagnosis. Feeling really drained already and not properly started on their personal care yet… :frowning:

Dear Wild Iris
Welcome to the Forum!
You are not alone, we are sure that many on here will understand exactly how you feel here and offer you support. Caring can be very lonely and the pandemic has made caring responsibilities challenging as many carers have been socially restricted and unable to attend social groups etc.
Carers UK are running online weekly meet ups for carers and you can find the information on how to register at Care For A Cuppa- There is also Share And Learn-
Our Telephone Number is 0808 808 7777 and we are open Monday to Friday from 9am-6pm and our Email Address is (
They provide information and guidance to unpaid carers. This includes:
-Benefits And Financial Support
-Your Rights As A Carer In The Workplace
-Carers Assessments And How To Get Support In Your Caring Role
-Services Available To Carers And The People You Care For
-How To Complain Effectively And Challenge Decisions.
Best Wishes

You are going to need LOTS of support. Work out what you want, and when.
Don’t be Superwoman, start yelling HELP!

Hi & welcome to the forum

What a lot you have to digest. What ages are your parents? Are you attached to a local carers group. You will need support and a very good place. Is usually a local carers group as there maybe carers who have knowledge and experience in these areas. Support group staff are good at signposting.
Does Dad claim attendance allowance.
Have you had a carers assessment. Carer's assessment | Carers UK
You will need to think about outside support. You can’t do everything on your own.

How old are your parents?
Has anyone explained the benefits they are both entitled to?
What is dad sruggling most with at the moment?
Maybe one of the most important questions for both of them, right now, is have they both arranged for you to have Power of Attorney?
Has dad discussed their overall financial situation with you?

Write down what is worrying you most on paper, then shuffle it into priority order.
Lots of advice here from various members, I don’t want to bombard you with too many questions, it’s a lot to get your head round. Are any other family in the area to support you?

Dear Wild Iris
I am writing to you as a follow up to my initial message I wrote to you a few weeks ago. I hope this message finds you are well and I hope that the Carers UK Forum is helpful and beneficial to you. Please leave a message to let me know how you are getting on.
Best Wishes