New on here

I care for a 20 year old boy with a diagnosis of Emotionally Unstable Personality Disorder. He also has depression, is a chronic self harmer, and has several times attempted suicide. I have been looking after him for 18 months, in an unofficial and unsupported role. He is the brother of my son’s ex girlfriend! Looking for light at the end if the tunnel! Anyone?!

Hi Liz, how did you end up being carer for this lad? Where are his parents?

Hi Liz

I am really sorry to hear about the boy you are caring for. It sounds as though he is facing many difficulties. He is lucky that you have been there for him for the last 18 months in such a selfless way.

Organisations like Mind provide a wealth of information and support to anyone affected by mental illness. For example, they have some excellent information about Emotionally Unstable Personality Disorder (EUPD) on their website (see link below), including information about helplines, therapies available and a link to a supportive online community.

Individuals with a diagnosis of EUPD have testified to the benefit of accessing therapy and connecting with other people with EUPD, and so it would be worth finding out if there is a branch of MIND, or another mental health organisation RETHINK nearby, and, if you can, offering to go with him on a drop-in visit.

Do you know whether he has been referred to his local safeguarding team (sometimes called MASH OR Multi-Agency Safeguarding Hubs)? They may provide a gateway to support. To find their contact details, search for ‘safeguarding’ on his local council website.

Alongside the support you are providing, it is so important that you get support for yourself. Our website offers a lot of information for people who are caring in an unpaid capacity, and a useful introduction to the support that’s on offer can be found in this online guide:

Please do get in touch with our adviceline – – if you have any questions about your caring role.

I wish you well in your caring situation and hope you find the support you need both on this forum and elsewhere.