Daughter with bpd

Hi there I have a 24 year old daughter with a diagnosis of bpd and I am new to this forum. I have read a few of the posts regarding bpd and can sympathise totally with what you are experiencing. Our lives have been torn apart by living with this. It is an illness which can be very manipulative and you can doubt your own sanity at times! I agree that boundaries are important. For years we enabled our daughters behaviour trying to keep the peace which only makes matters worse but when you are living with it you can’t see this. Our daughter has taken 16 overdoses, self harmed, threatened to hang herself, blamed it on her childhood; she loves us one minute, hates us the next. She has been living in supported accommodation and we finally have peace at home. She is desperate to come home, has been taking heroin which she blames on her accommodation which housed some addicts. This difficult illness destroys relationships and tears families apart. I have huge sympathy for anyone trying to support a family member with bpd.

Welcome to the forum, Janie.

Thank you for sharing your story. Caring for someone with BPD is tough. I think you have done well to get her into supported housing, now you can focus on being her Mum, rather than living and breathing her issues as her carer.


Hi Janie, thank you for coming to our Forum and sharing your story. I am so sorry to hear about your distressing circumstances.

Your daughter does need urgent help. Contacting your local GP and the Social Services through your council’s safeguarding team (sometimes called MASH OR Multi-Agency Safeguarding Hubs - to find their contact details, search for ‘safeguarding’ on your local council website) would be a good place to start.

Organisations like Mind provide a wealth of information and support to anyone affected by mental illness and they have some excellent information about BPD on their website here, including information about helplines, therapies available and a link to a supportive online community. (https://www.mind.org.uk)

Alongside your daughter, it is so important that you get support for yourself. Our website offers a lot of information for people who are caring in an unpaid capacity, and a useful introduction to the support that’s on offer can be found in this online guide:

DrugFAM provides information and support to families supporting someone else’s drug use. They have a free helpline from 9am-9pm, 7 days a week on 0300 888 3853. (https://www.drugfam.co.uk/)

I hope you find the support you need both on this forum and elsewhere.