Borderline Personality Disorder and ADHD

My son is 50 and doesn’t live with me. He has been diagnosed as having childhood and adult ADHD and last christmas diagnosed with BPD. As he estranged from his sister, daughter, and father, I am the only one who cares for him in trying to help him stay out of debt, deal with any correspondence he gets and generally support him in every day life. His anxiety, his memory and his outlook on life has gone down hill since his bpd diagnosis and I’m afraid that the clinic he was referred to has let him down by not giving him the support and care he was due. On a bad day he will shout and swear at me, tell me I don’t care and don’t support him, blame me for what he sees as past injustices and I struggle to keep going. I shall be 80 next birthday and there are days when I just feel like walking away. :frowning:

Dear Penny_2108
I am sorry to hear that you are in a difficult situation with your son. I am sure that there are other carers in the same position as you and that they can help and support you. If you need to get help for your son i think the best route would be to get a Carers/Needs Assessment done and then he might be able to get carers/support workers. I know the support clinic has let you down.The telephone number and email address i am going to give to you below will be able to give you more advice. I am just a welcome to the online community host.
So i am Kristie and I am going to say welcome to the forum! You are not alone in your caring role and we are sure that many on here will understand exactly how you feel and will offer you support. Caring can be very lonely and the pandemic has made caring responsibilities challenging as many carers have been socially restricted and unable to attend social groups etc.
Carers UK are running online weekly meet ups for carers and you can find the information on how to register at Care For A Cuppa:-Online meetups | Carers UK. Then there is another weekly online meet up called:- Share and Learn:-Share and Learn | Carers UK.
Our Telephone Number is 0808 808 7777 and we are open from Monday to Friday between the hours of 9am-6pm and our Email Address is (
They provide information and guidance to unpaid carers. This covers:-
-Benefits And Financial Support
-Your Rights As A Carer In The Workplace
-Carers Assessments And Have To Get Support In Your Caring Role
-Services Available To Carers And The People You Care For
-How To Complain Effectively And Challenge Decisions.
I hope you can either give our organisation a ring or email them. I also hope that fellow carers in your situation will be able to help you.
Best Wishes