New member


I care for my husband, who has had a chronic illness that has been slowly declining since his diagnosis in the late 90s. He is now mostly in an assist wheelchair and has two professional carers to visit his aunt. times per day. I’ll leave it at that until I see how the forum works in practice. Then I hope to comment where I have experience, and benefit from what I expect is substantial collective knowledge here.

Welcome to the forum.
I’ve been a carer for over 43 years, since my son was brain damaged at birth.
Actually, it’s probably longer, because my mum had health problems which started when I was still a child.
At first it was just lending a hand, but it grew and grew over the years. Mum died at 87.
Tiredness is a huge challenge for most of us. I used to have boundless energy, but I’m now 70. After 8 operations for various things (if I was a car I’d be in the breaker’s yard suitable for spare parts!) my energy and strength have gone.
I was widowed 16 years ago, we have lived in the same cottage in the New Forest, and made a garden out of a jungle, as the house hadn’t been lived in for a very long time. After I was disabled in a car accident I had two knee replacements, which mean I can’t kneel down any longer. Gradually all the borders we lovingly made have been flattened, fruit trees removed, now it just needs a quick mow, job done. It’s so easy to try and keep doing the work of two, but realistically, it’s impossible long term.


Hi Farley, and welcome.

It sounds as though caring has crept up on you over the years…which happens a lot. Just the odd little thing to start with, but gradually it builds up (often without noticing, really) until you find that you’re doing a lot! And, of course, as it happens over a long time, your own health comes into the mix.

I hope you find the forum useful. Do have a wander round, and especially take a look in the Members’ corner - that’s where we can be a bit more open about things if we need to, as it’s not viewable to the general public.

Welcome. Tell us more about your family.