Hi my names Chris I have been caring for my wife for 26 years. She is in an electric wheelchair I had to give up work 8 years ago as her problems got worse. We have a 25 year old son who still lives at home with his gf. Small house wheelchair, grown up kids two dogs, my only peace is when Enders is on and I put on earphones listen to music and tap away on my laptop.
I lost my best mate before christmas we had been friends for 50 years mutual support through good and bad times and now I feel so alone at times. We have lived in Dorset for 26 years but at times I am still seen as an outsider. Which has made me withdrawn a bit.
So I knew there are forums for everything from Twitching to Collecting Pants and thought there must be one for people in my situation so here I am
I am so sorry you have recently lost your best friend - that must be so difficult for you.
I have been caring for nearly as long as you. Different in that I am a parent carer.
Same difficulties in that it’s so hard to get breaks, and the social isolation.
Has your wife had a needs assessment from social services. I am wondering if they would be able to provide some care at home to enable you to have a regular break out of the house.
If you had this do you have any old hobbies that you would like to get back into? Something where you could meet other people?
Do you have any hobbies or not? Me time is essential. Even if it is half a day spent shopping for interior paints, or pursuing a hobby it still counts. Find opportunities to have some.
Hello Chris
I look after my Dad who had a stroke last year, there is so much to do looking after him and you lose yourself a lot in practically living their life. I understand how you feel regarding the little time you get to yourself and there has been a lot of days when I feel like just leaving. It’s so hard loving the person you care for but also resenting them a little. I, like you, feel very isolated and have lost most of my friendships but I have had good support from Signpost and Age UK. Please try and talk to someone about how you feel, even if it’s just a complete stranger.
Best wishes
Martin
I’m so sorry for your loss, I have just lost my best friend last year (we have been mates since high school) and it is so hard for me to get over it…
My situation is quite similar to yours, I don’t have a wife and I take care of my mother. She is currently 85years and she was very well before my dad passed away about 10 years ago. Now she is constantly depressed and it is getting worse and worse everyday.
I know exactly what you feeling and I know how hard this could be but I believe that you will get over it and be happy once again.