Hello everyone. I’m the Principal Carer for 2 Loved Ones. I am Male and I’m 50 years old.
I have joined this forum as I feel very isolated and hoped to get in touch with other Carers’ who maybe feel similar.
I am hopeful that I can make new Friends on this Forum.
Hi Kieran, welcome to the forum.
Are you getting any help and support? Time off?
Long term caring is hard. I’ve been a carer ever since my son was brain damaged at birth, 42 years ago. He now lives in his own flat, but I still have to do so much for him. I’ve also cared for all four elderly parents, and a few other relatives as well!
After I was widowed and disabled, I had to make huge changes to my house and garden, to make everything as easy as possible to manage. It’s easy to fall into the trap of doing all the work that two people used to do, but long term that’s impossible. Then there’s the caring role on top of everything else.
Is there anything that you are desperate to change, or stop doing altogether?
A big warm welcome to our forum, I’m glad you found us - you’ve certainly come to the right place to talk and connect with other carers who are in a similar situation to you.
I’m not sure if you know but we’ve been running weekly sessions during lockdown, many new carers have attended sessions recently and said how useful they’ve found them in terms of connecting with others who understand and can share advice and tips with them. I’ve attached a link to both sessions for you, please have a look and sign up if you would like to come along. There’s no pressure to share anything you’re not comfortable with. Here’s the link to our weekly care for a cuppa session Online meetups | Carers UK
I’ve also attached a link to our share and learn sessions for you Share and Learn | Carers UK they’re a series of fun sessions we’re running, to date, we’ve had visiting speakers talking on various topics to yoga.
with all good wishes
Thank you Ingrid . I will definitely look when I get time at the links you have kindly attached. In recent years becoming a Principal Carer for a second Loved one who had been diagnosed with MS has become a little overwhelming at times.
I seem to be emptying the tank everyday in my role as a Carer and also working Full-time. I was feeling particularly isolated last night and went out of desperation online to find a Carers’ group. I’m so glad I found this page.
Thank you for reaching out to me. You’ve had a very difficult time yourself looking after so many loved ones and still as a Disabled Lady looking after your Son.
I think if I can change one thing at the moment it’s too stop myself feeling so isolated. I feel I definitely have made a step in the right direction by signing up to Carers’ UK. Already in less than 25 hours good people like yourself have reached out to me with kindness.
I am very grateful too you for that and the others who have welcomed me.
Working and being sole carer for two people is just impossible to sustain long term.
After a days work you DESERVE to take a break in the evening.
I know no one wants a “stranger” looking after them, my mum was the same, until I was very ill. Faced with a stranger or residential care, a stranger didn’t seem so bad!
Mum came to know her carers, and enjoyed hearing about their lives, their kids, holidays, etc.
I decided that I could “manage” her care, but carers had to do the hands on dressing, bathing, feeding etc., when she needed help with these jobs. Carers will only do certain things, they would buy raspberries but not go into the garden to pick mum’s own, for example. They all walked past mum’s rose garden, but would never pick any. I also managed mum’s money for her.