New member 35 and a full time carer

Hi all, I hope you are all well during these hard times.
I guess I just wanted to post on here because alot of you will understand how I’m feeling. I’m 35 and I have been a carer for 5-6 years. I care for a friend who is 32 and has spinabifida and various other health conditions. I am finding this financially difficult. It has always been difficult but I’ve managed to get by but now I feel like I’m stuck. The person I care for has a son and she has no one else to help. I do the school pick ups and drop offs which I don’t mind at all, it would have been easier if covid hadn’t happened because I would have been able to book my driving test. I am torn on what to do. I looked into getting a part time job but financially it doesn’t seem like I would be better off. I feel like I’m stuck because if I got a full time job then I would be able to do pick ups and drop offs and there is no one else to help. I managed to speak to someone at the jobcentre and she was very rude and said that there main priority right now is to help ppl on universal credit and that I should be thinking about the person I care for as me looking for a job is very selfish. I don’t know what to do. I feel like there is not enough support for carers. :cry:

Hi & welcome Billy

What a good friend you are. Do you receive carers allowance because if you do. There should be other benefits open to you. So you do not need to be available or seek other work. Other than you want too.

If you are registered as a unpaid carer in your area. You maybe able to access some free driving lessons. Through a free grants plan.

the jobcentre and she was very rude

It’s totally unacceptable to be spoken to in this matter. It’s not for an advisor to comment on your situation. But to discuss with you your current options. Given the information you share. Personally I would make a compliant. All phone calls are recorded and the recordings can be access.

Definitely complain. Carers have a right to choose whether or not to care. You NEED to have a life of your ow. Do you truly love this person, or have you ended up being guilt trapped into doing it?

So I receive carers allowance and income support but after everything has gone out I have nothing left. I did look in to the free driving lessons but because her mum was her carer before me, she had the free lessons, you can only have access to that once. So I paid for mine out of my benefits to enable me to have access to a car but now due to covid everything has stopped again and I can’t afford to have any more.

I was asked if I would be her carer years ago and I absolutely love her and I can’t not help her, she is one of my best friends, I just want to be a bit more financially better off but it seems hard right now getting a job. I would still want care for her and work, at the minute it just feels like it’s hard for carers like us to get employment because alot of employers don’t see this as a job.

Did you guys find that there isn’t alot of support for carers like us? The way the jobcentre act sometimes its like we are expected to just get on with it. X

I’m so sorry you had that experience, that’s so unprofessional and horrible. As others have said, I would be tempted to complain. You looking for a job is not selfish, you have a right to live your own life the way you want to.