Hi everyone! I’m Bug. I’m 23 and I use it/its pronouns. Currently caring for a very close friend of mine full time.
Just registered as his carer officially today, actually, though I’ve been caring for 2-3 years without knowing I needed to register!
Hoping you all have a wonderful day! 
Hello & welcome
What support do you receive if any and do you get any respite? Have you connected to any local carers groups.
Just registered as his carer officially today. What do you actually mean? Registered or not if you provide care for anyone you are a carer.
Hi and welcome to the forum. This is a really long winded post apologies in advance for that. Firstly do call the local council up today first thing in order to start the application process asap. Everyone on here is entitled to some type of external help. Make brief summary notes as well at all times.
The council will ask a social worker to come out to the house to do a care needs assessment with you. This is your only chance to fully discuss everything. Only after this is completed will you start receiving any formal assistance or help. Be very honest as far as possible.
Make the most of this opportunity to talk. Best wishes. They will send you a copy of the assessment report. Read it carefully at least twice and highlight any discrepancies etc on the actual final report in red. You can do this.
Pay very close and careful attention to any questions that are asked of you at the assessment etc. Also breathe deeply in and out. Do your research as well. They are primarily there to help and support you so do remember that during the meeting. If you require further information please do not hesitate to ask anyone on here. We know what it is like.
Thank you so much! I’m going to be calling up the council to get a needs assessment ASAP. Right now we’re fighting with PIP & getting him an assistance dog.
I only just registered with the GP and everything. Looking into support and respite now, thankfully I’m not by myself in this so I can take breaks when needed. The local carers association does activity days which I’m going to look into going to, too.
Good luck. When you say fighting with PIP, do elaborate on what you mean.
Hey Bug
I trust you are informed of all the benefits and carers allowance etc you are entitled to and the payment of your NI stamp while you are caring for your friend.
The NI stamp only backpays for x amount of weeks, you need to check on your missing months/years of NI payments because this will affect your pension if you can’t pay them.
Also the Carers Allowance is taxable if you take on any other work.
Thanks for the pronouns heads-up but please don’t take offense if there is slippage on this, many here are carers at home, away from woke establishments and work places and have a lot on our plates with our care roles. In your profile you can choose a signature which shows up below your posts, you could put your pronoun preference in there if you wish.
I am intrigued at your preference for ‘it’’ because I have not come across that before and in my world to refer to a person as ‘it’ is an extreme insult akin to swearing and I will have to overcome that to be able to refer to someone as ‘it’. This is making me feel old and generations apart, so I want to understand and adapt.
You don’t need to adapt to anything if you don’t want to. Indeed “it” usually refers to an inanimate object or a creature, usually a less significant one so indeed it’s an insult, but if bug wants it that it shall be!
I want to adapt Jeromiah. We humans are an evolving species, I do not want to be a dinosaur, I want to give due respect to however a person wants to identify.
I am 70. When I was growing up to call anyone “it” was a really serious insult.
Even “he” or “she” was frowned on. Mum would say who is “she”? The cat’s mother?!
Calling someone by their own name is so much easier.
I’m 72 (and half😂).
Same for me when growing up. We never even knew neighbours 1st names. Always Mr Mrs or Miss. Any friends if my parents were called aunty or uncle.
Moved with times now but could never think of anyone as it! Name or nickname if they prefer.
Oh Bowlingbun the telling off I got as a child for saying she -and that cat’s mother reference!
Pet66 as a kid I grew up in a street full of aunts and uncles! I still refer to a family friend as aunt!
Generational differences, evolving societies, it stops things becoming dull.
The children both sides of my house call me by my first name. Lovely polite children. I’m just pleased they are happy enough to speak to me, share their birthday cake etc. Think if they called me Mrs …I wouldn’t realise they were talking to me!
Any update OP
It’s much easier using people’s first names, my 10 year old grandson often uses a derivation of mine. I don’t see this as disrespectful. In a small family the term “Dad” is fine, but it gets confusing for different members of the family. Would that be my dad, my son’s dad, or my grandson’s dad?!