New here

Hi new here
I care for my elderly parents mam has alzheimers and dad has mobility problems.
Feels like role reversal after them being there for me all the years. Finished work almost years ago and caring takes up a lot of my time

Hi Steve, welcome to the forum.

Caring for both parents at the same time is really tough. Hopefully, we can make a few suggestions so that might be of interest.

Money, or rather lack of it, can be a huge issue, so I’m usually the one to do a quick check to make sure everyone is claiming all that they are entitled to.
Do both parents claim Attendance Allowance?
Do you have Power of Attorney?
Did you know that people with dementia are exempt from Council Tax?
Are you claiming Carers Allowance?
Do mum and dad own, or rent their home?
Do you live with them?

I have to go shopping now (just back from holiday, my fridge looks like Mother Hubbard’s) will return here later.

Hi thanks for reply. I think I’m pretty much sorted thanks . Have the back up of Essence and Sunderland Carers Centre but always handy to have other places and people to turn to. They both get attendance allowance and have power of attorneys set up. They still live in their own home and get a partial reduction in council tax. I live in my own home 5 minutes away and claim carers allowance and income support. It’s a far cry from the wage I was earning but I’m there for mam n dad whenever I’m needed… remind me…what’s a holiday??? Haha

Hi Steve,

Good to hear about a brilliant Carers Centre. Can’t say the same about ours!

I take the view that if you love your carees enough to put their needs first 50 weeks a year, it’s not unreasonable to ask them to put YOUR needs first for 2 weeks, as a thank you. Some years it’s only been the thought of my 2 week escape to Crete that gives me the strength to continue.

Do you have an afternoon off each week?

Hi visited Crete about 18 years ago. Stayed in Stalis and did a bit exploring. It’s a beautiful island.
Find it difficult to get even an afternoon to myself let alone a weekend or more. I visit at least twice a day depending on their health, jobs that need doing,appointments etc. I take them out for lunch and a drive along the coast twice a week and coffee at a garden centre midweek too. They dont like the idea of outside help and the only back up I have is my wonderful partner who steps in to help out if needed. It’s a good job she’s very understanding of their needs.I’ve had 3 1/2 days off on 4 years and that’s because I was I’ll in bed.
Its exhausting at times I get a bit envious of people I know getting on with life while I’m tied down but like I’ve said to many people who dont know how I cope " they’ve been here for me for 55 years now it’s my turn to be their for them"
I count myself lucky to still have them even though they take some looking after as a lot of my circle of friends have lost theirs.
And on that note I better get moving as I’m due there shortly and the stopwatch will be ticking if I’m late haha
Have a good day