Need to look for a nursing home for dementia

Hi there
We want to chose the best nursing home for dementia for our dad but having never done this before would love some advice on how to go about choosing, we have 2 maybe 3 to look at monday the social worker has given the names to the homes that fits the criteria for dad just would like some advice on what to look out for good and bad

Link posted earlier in one of your other threads :

In case you need it , one of the bibles out there on care homes … almost an A - Z , including the kitchen sink :

**Care homes | Information and Advice | Age UK

I will assume CHC / NHS Nursing Care is NOT an option ?

Take a notebook and write down details as you go along. Three in a day is a big ask!

Hi Sandy
It is always a good idea to arrive unannounced and ask to be shown round. If they refuse, why? short of staff , hiding something etc?
Does the home feel homely, are the staff lloking stressed, are people shouting and being ignored. Can you pop into the dining room at lunch time and view the menus? Parking, CQC rating, facilities, view, entertainment, price. Is nursing care provided on site?
I visited 3 well in advance , one a bit dreary, one a clinical hospital environment and one more homely which I chose and was very happy with.
If self funding beware the small print about paying at the end of residency.

I’ve never had to do this, but I’d like to be able to observe any community events, mealtimes and activities.

It’s really like buying a house, you know almost immediately you step inside the door if it’s right.

The advice from Henrietta is good solid guidance.

The one thing I would add is to talk to the care manager or owner. This is the person controlling what staff are employed, how many are on duty etc. Not to mention the quality of food, when the heating is on etc… If the person in charge can’t look you in the eye and make certain guarantees, walk away.

Bad management filters down the chain to each and every employee.

Good luck Sandy, I hope you find a great place for your Dad to stay.

Remember too that no Home is perfect, and no Home can provide the same level of care that a dedicated team of family carers could.
You are looking for ‘good enough’. Let them cover the basics of warmth, safety, food etc. You then cover the ‘extras’ , the love, the little gifts, the companionship.

My Mum is in a Home that is “good enough” and better in some areas. They know the elderly better than we do, but still cannot cope with returning washing to the right resident so we bring hers home. They provide many activities but she refuses to go to most - or so she says-but then we find she does go and enjoy them, for some reason she does not either remember or want to let us know that :unamused:
Overall we are pleased and grateful she is there but we do ensure someone pops in every few days so make sure which you chose is easily accesible to family.


Thank you so much for your messages it was a big help.
We only saw 2 homes in the end and we were exhausted at the end of that
Well the 1st home we went to was lovely, care manager was exceptional spent an hour an half with us talking us showing us round considering we went unannounced my brother was so sold on the home he didnt want to view the other home but i did change his mind …glad we did, we needed that comparison even though the homes are run by the same company the 2nd didnt feel right even though it was very grand …lovely garden just dont think for us