My partner is Bipolar and getting very agitated with me

Hi, my partner is Bi-polar and when he is unwell (with anything, colds flu etc.,) he becomes very angry with himself and me. He is currently unwell with a chest infection and whilst he has my sympathy for this I also find I am having to back away from him. I can’t do right for doing wrong ie; If I ask him if he wants to go for a short walk he says ‘don;t you listen, i’m not well’, if I say I’m going for a walk he’ll shout at me ‘you could just ask me, perhaps i’d like to go’ - I can’t win.

We recently discovered his 2 year old grandaughter had taken home a pillow case from ours because it was pretty. I asked for it backm a: as its part of a set and b: because children should know they can’t take things, his daughter agreed with this. He absolutely hit the roof and told me he was going to leave me - over a Pillow case!
Every day at the moment I am in the wrong about something. I am a safeguarding social worker so my working life is stressful, I ,manage my mental wellbeing by going to the gym (which he gets angry about because he can;t come with me) or watercolour painting (which he gets angry about as he feels I should be sat cuddled up to him watching TV), i’d like to be able to go for a walk with a friend but I just can;'t face the backlash from my partner.
I realise that his anger and frustration with me is really a reflection of his own anger and frustration but honestly I don;t know how much longer I can take it. I have tried talking to him and asking him not to snap or shout at me as I’m doing my best but that just makes him worse! Any tips gratefully recieved

Hi Bev,

Does he take meds for his bi-polar? S had epilepsy meds and they are less effective when he is unwell with something and he is more likely to have a seizure. When he is well his epilepsy is well controlled. I’m wondering if this is similar for your partner. Perhaps worth discussing at his next review if he has them.

As for how to cope - it sounds a no win situation. Is your relationship more mutually beneficial when he isn’t unwell?