Hello, Jamie. This is quite a strongly worded post and clearly much is happening that concerns you. You may not agree with everything am about to say, but please read through to the end and at least consider my points. If I have misunderstood anything, do let me know.
I am not surprised that the carers called an ambulance when your mum wasn’t breathing or responding - anybody would in these circumstances. No carer or medic is going to stand by and watch someone choke to death because of a blocked airway.
What do you mean by a “dnr” and what the “machine” they obtained from the chemist? Is there a “Do Not Resuscitate” instruction on the plan? This instruction applies in cases where the patient is in a coma or on life support machine or whether attempts to resuscitate could cause physical harm. If, for example, an elderly person with weak ribs were to be resuscitated from a heart attack the ribs could be damaged leading to a worse problem than existed before.
You say she was “forced” into a care home. This was probably because the hospital or social services decided that this was the best place for her to be, from both her point of view or yours. Consider yourself and Mum lucky. In this forum, people usually have difficulty in getting carees into care homes, either because the caree does not want to go or because there is difficulty in finding a home with a vacancy.
It is easy for medicines to be lost during transfer to hospital, care home, etc. The care home would obtain from the GP a list of ongoing medication. If they were to find a shortage, they would naturally contact you in the next instance. This would obtain the medication more quickly than requesting a new prescription from the GP and waiting for it to be processed by the chemist. Did they really accuse you of “stealing” medication? Why would you want to steal something of no use to you?
Do you have your medicines organized at home? I recommend having a drawer in a kitchen cupboard or somewhere reserved for storing medicines and NOTHING ELSE. Another idea is the Lions Emergency Pot. This is a small container of information about each person in the family and their long-term medication. It is kept in a fridge or somewhere else easy to find. My caree and I have one each. Helpful if either of us should be rushed to hospital. Even if you don’t have one it is useful to have a full list of medications somewhere. Read about it here.
You seem to think that people are out to get you. You say carers reported you for not giving your mum pain killer. Reported to whom? Now that Mum is in a care home, that will be one less worry on your shoulders.
You mention litigation, suing the hospital and the care agency. How are you getting on with these legal battles. I don’t think many solicitors of integrity would want to handle such things.
Summing up, please do not treat everything that goes wrong as a major battle you must fight. You are harming yourself with anxiety more than you are harming others. People do sometimes make mistakes, even when they are supposedly acting in your and your mum’s best interests, but mistakes can usually be put right.
Thank you for reading this far. I’ll be delighted if you reply, even if you disagree with one or two points I have made. Feel welcome to post to this forum any time. May I suggest, however, that you keep to one problem at a time when you do so. This makes it much easier for us to consider your difficulty.