Paid Carers Accusing Mum of Violent Behaviour

I am so angry at the moment, my poor Mum can’t walk let alone speak to defend herself.

A while back two of Mums carers made the mistake of talking at our table about how they were going to rush through the bedtime calls, I heard every word they said and warned Mum what was going to happen.

As predicted they put Mum on the commode and tried to get her into bed without even one minute to see if she needed to pass anything. Mum screamed “I haven’t even had the chance to sit down yet”. The one carer then had the gall to tell Mum “not to shout at them” I had to intervene.

Now today we had the same two moronic “un-carers”, they sat in the car for five minutes, then RAN into the house. When I asked if it was starting to rain, they claimed an emergency had happened and they needed to finish our call as soon as possible.

Poor Mum didn’t stand a chance, basically pushed into the bedroom on her standing aid, no commode time. At which point one of the carers came out to tell me Mum was being aggressive and had hit her on the top of her head. I simply replied, its because you are rushing her. To which the carer had no answer… I will be complaining about the carers tomorrow, but its just so upsetting to see my Mum treated like this and the carers blaming her, when they are at fault for negligence…

I have heard this all the time carers rushing, the carers just don’t have enough time allocated, they then have to finish one job at 7.30 then start the next job at 7.30 which of course is impossible but no travelling time allocated.
It is not the carers fault often they might have to do 20 plus calls a day, if there is an issue at one call late for all the rest.
Nevertheless it is unacceptable, if your mum has 30 minutes then that is the time you should get not 25 not 20.
Do they sign in and out, keep records they have to I think.
All you can do is complain but you will probably get again the 2 moronic carers, carer wages unfortunatly do not attract high calibre staff.

Contact the CQC it is just not dignity for your poor mum being rushed on the toilet, but I have seen it so many times, carers in a rush to get home.

Hi Stephen,

S can’t cope with being rushed either.

I would contact the agency, explain what happened ( in a detached, factual way,) and request your Mum doesn’t have these two carers again. If the agency makes a fuss, which they shouldn’t, then say you will have to make a formal complaint.


The carers ought to know that hurrying up an older caree with memory problems and can’t walk or speak is bound to frustrate her. I’d be frustrated too!

To be honest I realise we are never going to get a full 30 minutes. Some of Mums carers at bedtime are in and out in just over 10 minutes, but importantly for me, they wheel Mum into her bedroom and leave her in privacy to sit on the commode for a good 5 minutes.

For Mum to string together a sentence like " I haven’t even had the chance to sit down" is so rare and to hear her being shouted down for doing so broke my heart.

The carers do sign in and out, in the “Communication Book”, but more often than not the times they write are false, I quite often joke with Mum, according to this they are still here 10 minutes after they’ve left.

I also worry about how much we need this agency, none of the others we approached were willing to take on four “double ups” a day.

Again I was chatting too Mum about how I wish we could just pick our favourite 5 or 6 carers out of the quota and only have them visit, we can dream.

Sorry to rant on, but just to emphasise the difference a Good carer can make,

Saturday night, Mum screaming constantly and being accused of hitting a Carer.

Sunday night, very little noise, One Carer telling me how much she looks forward to visiting my Mum and how Mum always puts a smile on her face and gives her the strength to carry out the rest of her calls, which was a lovely thing to say.

CQC guidance on carers is “a small team that knows you well”, but the reality is that care agencys just cannot deliver this.

But yes having carers that your caree doesn’t know, doesn’t like, doesn’t help.

Bang Bang Bang on the door, hello i am your carer today, the carer has never met the caree and vice versa, very frustrating the carers should know what to do, but to take literally dozens of carers through the care plan step by step very frustrating and stressful.

I complained to the agency, LA and CQC and safeguarding when one agency’s carers wrote the wrong times in the care record. Your carers are falsifying records and could find themselves in deep trouble if anything were to happen to your mum when they claimed to be there but in fact had left (if you were not there). I used a video doorbell to keep track of the carers comings and goings.

I’ve started to keep a record of visits, just to prove how wrong it is and have since spoken to the Manager, todays tea and bedtime calls were perfect…

I could record the times the Carers spend, but I think anyone with experience will tell you we’re lucky to get 50%?

Hi Stephen, I think 50% is on the low side. Admittedly sometimes the 30 minute teatime visit could be over in 10 minutes if no commode needed but the morning visits took the alotted times and the lunch and evening visits were pretty close to full time.

If I were paying for 100% and only receiving 50% I’d be cheesed off!

I think it’s time to get one of those RING doorbell/video cameras to give irrefutable evidence. After all, if they are claiming 30 minutes work but are there for only 15 minutes, that is FRAUD against one of the most vulnerable people in society!

Yes, irrefutable evidence! I had one especially for that purpose and used its data for my safeguarding case.

I see a couple of issues:

If you’re paying for 30 minutes care that’s what you ought to be getting. You don’t pay for their travel time;

If they falsify records so as to match how long they ought to be in the house, that’s illegal too! (And sets them up for serious safeguarding issues)

Hello, Stephen,

If agency staff (and I will not call them care, because very few actually seem to) are paid to be in your mother’s home for an hour, then allowing for travelling to and from other calls, you should be receiving at least 45 minutes.

We have experienced similar and so many complaints had gone in about this cheap agency the local council’s social services had put in place, that it was closed down. Sadly a lot of the staff moved onto the next agency, so we had a repeat situation of people not turning up until two hours after they were due, and writing a load of codswallop in the so-called care plan folder.

So I took to writing my own comments in the care plan folder. The supervisor of the care agency did not like me doing that, but frankly, as I provide a large part of my brother’s care, and was having to also clear up and chase up after agency people, I continued doing so. The standard of care has improved enormously.

Some care agencies are better than others, but there are always - in every field of work - those who shirk or have stress from a tight schedule (which should not be passed on to the service user/patient/family), even people who have been in a job a long time can fall into bad practises. And these need to be reported every single time. They are letting down their employers and giving them a bad reputation, no employer likes that.

You have done all the right things. Your mother deserves the time and patience she needs, as will those agency people when they hit that time of their life!

At a safeguarding meeting I raised rhe issue of travel time between visits. I was assured most clearly by both LA and care agency that travel time is TOTally separate from care time!

Just how the staff get to and from clients is for the agency to schedule. How well they do that in practice is another thing.

The carers never claim to be around for the full 30 minutes, they sometimes exaggerate it to 20 minutes at the most.

I know I’m weak, but as long as Mums care needs are looked after I just accept it, time on the commode, not being forced into bed against her will.

Since I complained Mums times are now actually closer to the rota, the Carer tonight seemed baffled, was due at 6:30 but was changed to 7.

My main concern is that no other agency could do four double ups a day.

Does Mum really need Double Up carers for her stand aid, surely a single carer could cope???

That might be an issue of health and safety (for both mum and the carers), depending on whether your mum can stand and if she can assist in turning in bed. We had that discussion several times, going from 2 to 1 and back to 2 as mum’s condition changed.

It’s understandable that you don’t want to make a fuss. You’ve got a lot going on, and you ought not to think of yourself as being weak. Youve been doing a great job with your mother.

If the carers are meeting your mum’s needs in 20 odd minutes on some days and spend over time when her care takes a little longer, then so be it. Give and take. If they rush your mother, don’t do everything expected and are out the door after 15 minutes AND record in their notes they’ve been there for the full half hour, then you really do need to speak up. As my mum would say, you’re not complaining - just stating the facts!

If you are being charged for an hour then you should RECEIVE an hour!!

There was a recent case, sorry, can’t remember the details, which concerned support staff and travel time. Not your problem. Stick to the fact - charge an hour? then I must have an hour? Don’t get side tracked by anything else.

I had agency care workers for S in the mornings to support him between me leaving for work and his bus coming. I couldn’t leave for work until they came and couldn’t be late for work myself - therefore this time was non-negotiable. He had DP to cover him for 45 mins. Once he was collected (which was often in less than 45 mins,) I was happy for them to leave - the job was done. If they were late I would always ask them if they were allowed sufficient travelling time and said if they weren’t I would contact the agency on their behalf and ask for however many more mins to be factored in(!) this usually worked - either they arrived on time after that or I rang the agency, who jiggled the rota. One very unpunctual (sp?) care worker had to be removed from S’s rota. I made a formal complaint about her.


I love you guys, its 2:05 in the Morning and Mums carers will be here in less than 5 hours.

I think as long as we don’t get the terrible duo I will be happy.

Breaking News: One half of the terrible duo pulled me aside and told me she was quitting and to keep it a secret. She’d told Mum first as she didn’t want to let her down. Talking to Mum, she shushed me as it was a secret. But when I pointed out to Mum the same Carer was the only ever carer to scold her on two occasions Mum laughed…