Sorry, this is probably going to be a bit disjointed and rambling.
It’s generally been a crap six months, but the last two weeks are really pushing me. Having to handle my mum’s physical and emotional needs along with my siblings’ meltdowns are using up all my energy. I’m tired all the time and sick with worrying about managing everything.
Mum (81) lives with me and my husband. Two weeks ago she fell down our stairs at home while we were out and cut her head (since has had a LOT of bruises come up as well). It wasn’t a bad cut but because she takes warfarin the paramedics insisted she go in for a scan, which apparently showed nothing to be concerned about. They then turfed her out at 2:30am, no follow ups, nothing at all.
She’s been in bed more or less since. She gets up to use the toilet, but then straight back to bed. She’s been forgetting words for a while but it seems worse now. She has a sore bottom from sitting on it all day, and cries about that. She frequently feels sick and giddy, and cries about that. She has a HUGE bump on her head, which stings, and she cries about it. 111 say because she doesn’t have symptoms of head trauma (vomiting, headache, slurred speech, etc) that it’s pretty much nothing to worry about and she’ll get better over time. Except it’s causing her misery and I can’t make it better.
Then, yesterday morning when I go into see her, she’s bawling her eyes out because my selfish half brother called her at 3am(!!) to say that he and the other selfish half brother had been in a fight and smashed up their living room (they live together to supposedly take care of their father).
I’m so done. I can’t cope with mum’s needs anymore, let alone sorting out my adult siblings’ issues (they’re 53 and 60 for crying out loud). Mum seems to think that because I can cope with things more easily, that I should look up resources to help them too.
Mum has zero assets, no home, and about £400 in the bank. We would not be able to find the money to fund mum’s placement in a care home. I don’t want someone coming in a couple of times a day to make her a cup of tea, if it only took that I could manage it. I’m scared to leave her alone.
If I called SS and told them I was not going to do this anymore, could they still force me to care for her? Would they make me take the offer of a couple of home visits a day?
I hate sounding so heartless, I do love my mum, but the stress is killing me.
Thanks.