The home has smoke alarms and had adaptations put in recently by the landlord. The landlord literally only had a gas safety check done yesterday morning too, everything has been marked as fine. The smoke alarms work, everything.
The landlord or workers for them have recently done work to the home, i.e gas safety checks, they have done a couple of repairs, they build a new framework to hide the boiler pipes in my room to meet new regulations. Not long after dad died they did an inspection for insurance purposes and the house was a mess then, we just explained the situation and they were fine. At no point have they ever said anything. So these carers or should I say carers managers are getting on their high horses.
I’ve mentioned before that my sister is also partially sighted. She’s a very able person, but her life is very structured in a sense. She does live a very normal life , works, the company she works for makes adaptations for her. They’ve given her leeway on some of the targets, not that she needs it. She is well above. However, her eye sight is not something that can be corrected by glasses or contract lenses. Everything she reads needs to be in large print. Luckily we live on a prominent road for busses into the town centre, so she knows she can catch any bus going that way, but going elsewhere she relies on me or her friends. It’s not that she can’t see, it’s just that she can’t see clearly for more than a few metres. By the time she can see the bus number, chances are she will miss it. However in the case of her room, the carers have been through it and moved everything or thrown it away. By moving items, they have messed with her eye sight and it’s just not right. She was in tears the past couple of days because it really hurts her both emotionally and physically when people move her stuff.
I get what you are saying about their contract, but according to mum the carers manager is constantly asking where me and my sister are. When mum has replied they are at work and don’t get home until 6-7 pm they just said that we should really be doing our rooms. Every teens room, or young female adult will have probably a few more clothes, boxes of make up and jewellery. In my case I have a lot of books neatly on a book shelf, along with pop vinyls it’s completely normal, yet they are making a big thing of it. I’m not talking hundreds, I’m talking a couple of shelves on a perfectly steardy bookshelf. These people have clearly never read a book in their lives. Yes I will agree there is a little bit of clutter, at the moment there are board games under my bed which need to be dealt with, and an old set of drawers which needs to be taken down, but that is what we are doing just sorting though things. However I just don’t think our rooms should just have a bed and an empty shelf in them.
Yes it does seem like words have literally been put into mums hands. There also seems to be the fact that mum keeps saying they are mentioning gaining power of attorney, but I won’t let that happen. They cannot force anyone to gain financial control. I deal with mums bills just fine, and there has never been an issue apart from the TV licence which was sorted out the second I learnt of it.
Yea I believe she lack capacity in some areas, and struggles to make decisions sometimes, but gaining power of attorney to have control is not the answer. She struggles because she’s got limited understanding, I have mentioned this time and time again to everyone and it’s in her OT report. When a big decision is made, she needs someone to communicate in more depth and simple terms so she understands. She needs to know what is asked of her, what she needs to do, how to do it, and what will happen as a result.
An example of this would be, she recently broke her phone. The poor thing was on its way out when I had it, never mind when she’s been using it. She’s not someone who can easily buy a new phone, so I had to do it for her. I doubt she would even know what type of phone it is, other than it’s an iPhone.I bought the phone on her behalf and had to tell her what I was doing with her money, how much, and what I had to do to the phone. I also had to buy the exact same one, luckily it’s an older model so they are fairly cheap. I then had to tell her when she would get it. She just needs to understand what is coming. She now has the phone and she is happy it’s “pink.” I know this sounds like an example every younger person experiences with an older relative and technology, but it’s like that for everything.
In terms of financial matters, I believe the world is far too advanced and technological nowadays and for people like her it’s a world away from anything she could understand and because of that it is very dangerous. I’m half and half I understand the technical side of things but try to do things very traditional, it’s better for the economy and independent businesses that way. Having said that for mum to understand how to pay her bills, it just won’t happen. I also think it’s best that she doesn’t understand how to pay online for things because she is far too vulnerable. This is how fraud happens.
As far as I am concerned my mum doesn’t really have reason to be in our rooms (yes it’s her house), legally and contractually yes, she does. However it’s just common courtesy that most parents would leave their older children’s rooms alone unless they really had to do something. I’m sure there will be hundreds if not thousands of homes across the U.K. where the kids have moved out, but the bedroom is still the same. I just don’t understand what their problems are, expecially when they are clearly not doing their jobs properly in other areas.
The fact that they are telling mum to get rid of dads clothes is another thing. I don’t think any of us are ready yet. Loosing a parent is different at different ages, but people forget I was 2 days past 24 when my dad died. My youngest sister was 18 and the other was 20. I was dealing with call centres agents who were refusing to close his account without speaking to him, difficult forms and arranging his funeral only days after his death because I was next of kin. Life is still tough and a challenge without him, everyday is a learning curve. I’m not saying I live everyday like he has gone, I’m just saying I’m surrounded by people who still have their parents/ parent however they may be and I wish people had more understanding. I live life, I do normal things but I still feel like I’m still too young to let go, I’m still maturing and developing. I was always a late developer. His items are a reminder, he existed because some days it feels like he never did, it has been so long now. Seeing that little train in the bin really got me, he is now sat on my shelf, next to the larger model I have of him. I describe it as little, it was actually from a model train set me and dad worked on when I was around 10. It’s not particularly tiny, so it’s not like it could have easily been thrown out. Luckily he is okay.
The point stands that mum didn’t know it was there either so they are throwing things out without her permission. Important documents lie within folders in that house and it just seems like they are throwing away what they see. Their only excuse is “fire hazard.”
My point still stands have they ever seen a house fire caused by hoarding because I bet they haven’t. I had to cover one once for my job; it was horrible, but the sheer amount of paper and flammable objects I saw in the pile afterwards.
As for his clothes It’s not like he had loads though either, they are neatly packed In a suitcase. In a largish house, it is nothing.
I know it sounds like I am been defeatist in a way, yes stuff does need to go, however I do not believe in the one bowl, one cup, approach. I live alone and I don’t even do that. Items which have no meaning now are slowly been moved and taken wherever they need to go.