Hi, first time on here and I don’t know where to start. I need advice: my mother-in-law is caring for her partner with mobility issues, COPD, early dementia and other mental health issues.
He can be abusive to her and very controlling, she is often in tears and I suspect very depressed. She cares for him the best she can, but she cannot manage. We think he needs to go into care, but doubt he would go willingly and I think she is too scared to approach it. She owns the house, but he has lived with her for many years, he has a small amount of his own in savings. How can she get him into care or at least out her house? Is it possible to get him out and away from her? Would she lose her house in the process? She does love him and feels responsible for him so couldn’t just kick him out. His family 2x kids doesn’t seem to have anything to do with him.
That is a terrible situation, can you tell us how old they both are?
Does he have over £23,000? Yes/no is all we need, it’s the limit of free care.
Is he claiming any disability benefits ( presuming he’s not working?)
Has MIL asked Social Services for a Carers Assessment?
Im not sure how much he has, but I think less than that. She has very recently started the process for the carers assessment but not sure she would tell anyone how she is struggling. They are both in their late 70s, and not sure what he claims.
DWP have an Appointee scheme, which enables someone to manage the benefits of another person who lacks capacity. However from what you have described, she really just wants him gone, understandably. Carers UK has a telephone helpline of very well trained advisors (they made me £50 a week better off) to discuss the best way forward, in confidence. Maybe email them first so they understand the background fully first?
Ok, thank you, good idea