My Dad passed away last night

All about caring Former carers
1

My Dad passed away last night.

I was with him when he took his last breaths and it was peaceful for him and I was talking to him and telling him I loved him right up until the end. I am so grateful that I got to do that.

He had been in hospital for 3 weeks following his 9th bout of pneumonia, and this time I think he decided he had just had enough. He stopped eating 3 weeks ago, then stopped drinking 5 days ago. He was fast tracked for the CHC in the end and they found him a room in a lovely nursing home just 5 minutes from me. I have been able to pop back and forth and spend the nights there with him so he was never alone.

He hated having to go into a nursing home a year ago, something in his spirit just died a little bit. I am happy for him that he no longer has to endure being in one, but I am also grateful that he was in a lovely one for his last 5 days and the staff were all so kind and kept him comfortable and clean, just as it should be.

So now to help my Mum ‘get over’ it as they have been married for 63 years. She has vascular dementia and it has not hit her as hard as it would have done a year ago. She lives with me now so I can keep a good eye on her.

I wanted to say ‘thank you’ so much to everyone on this forum that has answered my many questions. I looked back over my posts and someone has answered and helped me every time. You are all wonderful people who have ‘been there and done that’ or are STILL doing it, and you have so much good advice to give. Caring for people changes you and challenges you in a way that unless you actually do it ‘no one can understand’…

Thank you from the bottom of my heart, to every single one of you that has taken the time and energy, to reply to me in some of my loneliest and saddest times when I was desperate for an answer. You always managed to make things a little bit better with your answers. I would look on here many times in the middle of the night when I couldn’t get back to sleep, and it always helped.

I will still check in on the forum and help people when I can with answers from my own experiences xx

2

I am so sorry to learn of your Father’s passing; it was good that you were able to be with him to the very end and that it was peaceful and dignified - something you can hold onto in the sad days to come.

We will be here to support you for as long as you need us.

Death leaves a heartache no one can heal, love leaves a memory no one can steal.

3

My deepest condolences to you. My husband’s passing was extremely peaceful and still brings a comfort to me nearly 4months down the line. I hope it will be the same for you.
Busy time now so try to take some me time.

4

I’m really sorry for your loss. Wishing you comfort and best wishes during this difficult time.

5

Hi Syndneyaus,
It sounds like it was your Dad’s time. I’m glad he had a peaceful passing and you were there with him.

You must still be busy, looking after your Mum. In the case of dealing with the absence of her husband, the dementia may save her some pain from it.

Try and look after you too.

It would be great if you could pop on the forum, when you can, to support others.

Melly1