Hi everyone, unfortunately mum is just not accepting boundaries whatsover and I don’t know what to do anymore.
Earlier today my mum was bombarding me about going to hers to sort her phone out. I told her no but she insisted and I am away tomorrow so I had to.
There has been another example of her not accepting boundaries. Whilst at my mums she mentioned wanting to go charity shop hunting in a few weeks. I just said without thinking there is one weekend where I will be doing overtime for work but we can another time. I will be doing two extra days to represent the business at a massive charity event. We will be fundraising too.
When I mentioned it to my mum she was insistent that I took her too, but I said no it’s a work thing I’m doing overtime. She said if I take her she will just look around the shops all day and leave me too it, I responded there are barely enough shops for an hour never mind a whole weekend. Literally. There is 20 ish shops down the high street including about 4 vape shops, two tiny charity shops, an Aldi, a newsagent, a cafe, heron and the factory shop. Oh and a couple of newsagents. I told her there would be nothing to do and I will be on the stall working as I have agreed to.
I just said no because I am doing this overtime it’s a work event. I will be with my coworkers just having fun and joining in the activities. Bear in mind I never told her what this event was relating to. But she wouldn’t have it.
On the Sunday there will be a concert to conclude the event and I have got tickets. Me and my coworkers decided we would just have a night out at the end of a long weekend. I mentioned this concert thinking it would shrug her off. I told her tickets are nearly sold out (they aren’t). Me and my coworkers/friends never do anything out of work despite us being close so this event would be nice. Now she wants to tag along and won’t stop bombarding me.
I don’t know how to say no to her any louder. It’s alright her saying she will wait around but it’s a lot of waiting. I remember at my university graduation she wouldn’t let me get any professional photographs done because she was “gagging for a drink, and had to have one straight away.” She kicked off at me insanely in front of all my tutors embarrassing me. I just know if she goes to this event all I will get is her coming up to me every 10 minutes asking for money.
I also don’t want her at this concert, I will be representing the town and the business. There will be so many people I work with on a daily basis there, and if there is alcohol it’s not going to be a good mix. All she ever talks about to anyone is how her ex was a narcissist and what he did. It’s embarrassing and I just want to use this time to have fun. I don’t want these people looking at me with different glasses after she says something. There will be many other places I can take her other days but now she has got her heart set on this.
My boss just won’t have her hovering around the stall all day either. She is going back to how she was before not being allowed to go anywhere without her wanting to come along. She literally has intense FOMO.
Because of the nature of what I’m doing it will be an extremely long weekend, however the whole event is for a very worthwhile charity(s). I will be there from 10am until finish on the Saturday and 10am until the concert is finished on the Sunday. It’s an extremely long time. My expenses will also be entirely paid by the company too, so I will get all my travel, food, drinks and so on. The company won’t pay her expenses at all.
The event is happening 20 miles away from where she lives too, she knows no one there so can’t exactly go off with anyone. I’m also not having her mates tag along because then trouble will happen and it will be all my fault.
Why can’t she just listen to the words no.