Mum is at risk windows have been smashed by her abuser

Hi. I am scared not long after my last post I have received a message from my mum. Her windows have been smashed, all three of the front ones. I had to get there as quick as I could.

The police have said they are busy to attend at the moment. I don’t know what to do.
The windows have completely gone.

Social services will be getting it tomorrow. No effing safeguarding risk is there when he has made a million threats. When this has happened.

It was the ex that has done this. The one that raped her, she reported him to the police.

If you are worried he’ll return, take your Mum to the police station.

Select one of the organisations listed here re advice and regarding emergency accommodation.

Take photos of the damage.

Contact the police and ask when they are able to send someone and explain the windows will need boarding up and the house isn’t secure until this is done nor safe for your Mum.

Some glaziers offer 24/7 boarding up services and could do this until the glass can be replaced.

If your Mum is in rented accommodation then she needs to be contacting the landlord.


The landlord has been contacted, they are going to be coming first thing in the morning to board the windows up.

I am at the proprety now, but I need the police to come. I have work in the morning and I can’t stay up all night waiting for them. My old room isn’t available to sleep in as the property is being sorted and there is furniture in my room which needs moving. I have work first thing in the morning and we are already two staff members out of 4 down. We even have a new starter tomorrow too.

Mum is fast asleep whilst I am waiting. It’s scary, to think the house is exposed even with me in here it’s not safe. If he comes back he has easy entry. We have already established that nothing is treated as an emergency in the area.

What a world we live in when you ring 999 and the police say they are busy? They have even told me it is high priority. At the moment it feels like the purge.

The damage is very serious and is not caused by someone throwing stones. The impact has gone through both layers of double glazing. It looks like it has been hit with something.

Mum says the guy may have done it whilst drunk since he is always drunk. So he is probably drunk driving too.

I feel very vulnerable here myself.

I swear that social services will be getting a stern telling off first thing tomorrow, and I will be demanding they take proper action. I will also go to the department for health and social care because they have failed to act when there is written proof that they know what is going on. What good is a damn action plan when they have done nothing to enforce it? Now this has happened. As far as I am concerned his actions are no longer empty threats now and by failing to act on the things they said they would this has happened.

I hate to sound like I am whinging and moaning, but I thought the word emergency services meant emergency services.


5 hours later there are still no signs of the police despite being “high priority.” I have called the non emergency line and I have I told them that mum is vulnerable and the house is exposed. They said they are still trying to get someone down to deal with it but their services are stretched. I know crime is bad in the area but bloody hell.

Why are services so shocking lately? The police even had the audacity to say that if the man comes back to ring them again and they will “try” to attend. Try being the key word, not definitely. Shall we roll out the red carpet leading to the window? Sorry about the frustration. When I said she was vulnerable in the house, they said “why doesn’t she stay with you?” I told them, I live in a shared place. I don’t have any room. It’s an absolute joke. I don’t know what type of dystopian world we live in but just wow.

I have even contacted hull adult safeguarding and they have said that the police should have responded or helped her. They haven’t. They just said they will contact mums social worker in the morning. Fat lot of good that will do.

Hi. Still nothing. I can’t do this.I fell asleep and then I woke up with a major panic attack. I was shaking uncontrollably and had an intense cold spell. I kept feeling like I was going to pass out and die. I was struggling to breathe too and was really gasping for air. I ended up being sick. I had to take a couple of my medicines to calm down. I don’t want to go into work in a few hours but I have to because there is no one to cover me.

This is the issue. Services aren’t helping. I feel left to do it all. I can’t cope. What do you do when you can’t even rely on the police or anyone. Mum needs to stop meeting these idiots, she really does. I can’t take her off social media though. She just seems to run in the direction of idiots.

12 hours later still no word from the police. Someone has gone round to board the windows up. I have been advised to make a complaint about the police and how they have failed to respond.

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Sounds like all you can do. What a nightmare.


What time of day did it happen. Did any of the neighbours hear or see anything?
Does anyone in the street have a Ring doorbell or CCTV?

It happened at 10pm down a terrace so it was quite darkish.

There may be a ring camera down the street mum has asked the neighbour. However, we know there is CCTV of the whole street. There was an incident down the street not so long ago where some youths smashed the windows of 30 cars. They released CCTV then. So we know that it exists.

As you can see from the picture which was just one of the windows. They were all put through in short succession with force. The windows were left like that all night. I reported it to the landlord and the first time they could come was this morning. To be fair to them they fixed it first thing. They were on to me before 8 am I was still getting ready, by 10am they had been boarded up.

There is speculation that he may have acted with an accomplice. Someone has given him an alibi, however that person has also said he had his car damaged and his windows damaged last night. He lives in rehabilitation housing so I wonder. Funny how he had his window smashed same day as someone got mums. He also messaged mum a few weeks ago stating that he wanted her to smash his windows to get her into trouble. The police saw those messages.

Anyway I have spoken to a number of services today. I forgot I had a carers appointment this morning which proved helpful. I told her everything that was going on and how the police hadn’t attended. Apparently she rung to find out too. Not long after I got a call to say the domestic violence team were going to mum at 10am tomorrow.

I tried to contact mums social worker but she was useless, she spoke to me about an action plan but wouldn’t say what was on it. She refused to tell me if mum was on the assisted living list. I called the team directly and asked. They said she was. Mum also said they are going to do a reassessment on Friday to see if they can place her on a higher priority for the housing.

I then got a call from the domestic abuse team after I asked to get a call from them. I explained the situation and I told them how he seems to be framing her. I also explained about the past incident and how it was impossible for her to do the crimes. He said its very common for people to do this in DV cases to muddy the waters as a form of manipulation. Apparently, they can tell when it is happening. I also asked if he could tell me if they had made an allegation about the car and window being damaged. The guy said he hadn’t seen it. So it was likely a lie.

The officer also told me that the services had been ‘chocker’ overnight.
Not sure what to expect from here really.


Dear Coolcar,

We are very sorry to hear about your current situation. We have send you a response. Hope this will help in the meantime.

With good wishes,
Carers UK

So just an update since I know I haven’t posted. The police are aware of the situation, and are checking CCTV. another house got targeted too which makes us question if it was mistaken identity. Witnesses also saw the event happen.

Mums social worker will be redoing the extra care assessment with my mum on Friday, they are going to see if they can get her into assisted living quicker.

Ask the social worker visiting tomorrow to discuss with mum sharing things with you.
You NEED to know what is going on to help mum.

Hello Coolcar,

This sounds like an absolute nightmare. My mum also seems to attract these abusive types too. Almost every one of her husbands have been like this.
I know this is not as bad as your situation but we got broken into last year and it was after my dad came to supposedly fix the fence. He came in last. The next day at 6:30 am someone my mum described as a young person, very small, broke into the house and made a mess then stole her phone.
The police were useless and did nothing. We told them about all the neighbours that had CCTV which is almost all of them so somebody will have got him on camera moving along our street but they didn’t even bother to check.
The back door had been left unlocked. Mum believes my dad had something to do with setting up the whole thing.
Now a year later same time, dad came to do something for me. He had access to our garage. Again at 6:30 am I heard a noise, same as last time, somebody broke into our yard via the locked fence and was rummaging in all our bins and then went to the garage and somehow got hold of a G-tech hedge trimmer. I swear that thing was in the garage!
Mum now suspects it was my dad again setting it up as he’d been here a week ago and this incident happened the other day.
It’s really suspicious because it happened the same time and date as last year and the fact it happened shortly after my dad came and did stuff in those areas.
My dad only came those specific times as well

In both cases, the Police should be taking the situation very seriously, as both carees are vulnerable. It could be considered a Hate Crime.

Yeah. I agree with you completely. I’ve read in the news lately about so many crimes where the police are failing to respond. Someone also said to me at work that the police just seem to not want to arrest people because the crown prosecution service just drop the case.

I see more police on my route home on the side of roads with speed guns than I do elsewhere.