Unfortunately my wife now has terminal cancer diagnosis. We have had a motability car for many years for her. It’s our only car. I gave up work years ago to look after her. Ive just looked up what happens if she dies, and Motability says the car needs to go back within 2 weeks after death.
We have no second car, I have no job as i’m a full time carer. I wont be able to get a loan to get a car as i have no job. I would need to get a job (and i’m able), but i need a car to get a job. Catch 22. So the 2 week limit on return of the car would make life really hard. It’s bad enough having to deal with the devastating personal circumstances, let alone loss of income and loss of transport. It’s not even something that i want to deal with right now, but I have no choice to try and face it now, unless I want an even harder time later on.
It feels like when your caring ‘job’ is over, your binned and out on your own.
Some sort of grace period, adjustment period would have been much less callous.
Ive yet to find out all the other info, but i’m guessing everything stops instantly, carers allowance, council tax help, any of my wife’s allowances. Everything cut off straightaway…there you go… have a good life…good bye. I hope im wrong?
Anyone had any experience or advice would be really helpful
Unfortunately, the benefit system can be very cruel.
However, I’d like to see if I can help with your current situation.
Are you aware of NHS Continuing Healthcare?
If not, Google this for full information, especially the “checklist”.
You and your wife should be given the choice of where you would like her final days to be spent, and CHC should give the support needed to make this choice a reality.
Is there a local hospice?
Thanks for the reply already.
We have all of ‘living’ conditions and support while my wife is here all sorted and have received fabulous support, so, fortunately, as tough as it is, i’m not worried about it. Advanced care plans etc etc. hospice etc in hand. So as thats mostly under control and being dealt with, im (which feels selfish) starting to think about what happens after…
I know that when the day comes, emotionally it will be very hard, let alone also having to deal with financially surviving at the same time.
I was widowed suddenly at the age of 54, not sure if knowing or not knowing is better. Both awful really.
Good to hear that the support is in place. This is a forum for current and former carers, we know how difficult things are adjusting.
Hello, Mi. I am sorry to hear of your wife’s situation. There is nothing selfish about planning for the inevitable and afterwards. You are being very brave and stoical in trying to organise and plan your life under these difficult circumstances. I hope that we can come up with ideas that will enable you to take a more positive outlook.
You sound confident that you can get a job. Have you a particular job in mind? A former employer perhaps?
Why do you need a car to get a job? Are alternatives practicable - buses, cycling? Could you afford a cheap, second-hand motor bike to tie you over in the early stages?
If these are not practicable alternatives then you need a source of cash to bridge the early days of your job. Once you have had the job for a short while, you should be in a position to obtain financial assistance to buy a car.
Do you own your house? If so, what is its estimated market value and what balance of mortgage still needs to be paid?
Have you talked to your bank manager? Managers usually have lots of ideas to help people through a difficult financial period, and if they cannot help directly they can often refer. Bank managers, for obvious reasons, prefer customers with jobs, remember.
If you can answer these questions so we know a bit more about you, we may be able to offer more-specific suggestions.
Sorry Denis ive only just seen your reply. I didnt get notified you had replied
To answer some questions
Im fit and healthy, ill do any job, plus i have my own little business. So id be surprised if i didnt get a part time job at least within a month or two. Maybe i’m being unrealistic.
I live in the sticks, no buses, i’ve never had a motorbike, don’t really want one.
House owned outright. value about the national average.
Haven’t talked to the bank
Ive asked motability, and they possibly could extend the return deadline but only by a week or two. That means 3-4 weeks from telling them my wife is no longer here, which helps.
I don’t think you get automatic notification, Mi. If you want that, you need to click alongside the “spanner” and select “Subscribe to topic.” Or tick the “notify” box at the bottom.
Your position is much clearer now. Living in a remote spot has its attractions, but the downside is lack of transport and other facilities. Hence you are dependant on having a car. In your favour you have a small business and own your property outright.
It sounds as though you need a loan or mortgage secured against you house. The time is now ripe to have a chat with your bank manager and find what options your bank could offer to help you through the transitional period.
I’m not suggesting it is going to be straightforward. Mortgages are usually issued on the condition that the mortgagee is able to make the payments; hence you need a job reference. Beware of unsecured loans; interest rates are often astronomical. I think you are a bit young to consider equity release. So go and see your bank manager and tell the full story, especially about your little business. The manager will know far more about you and the available options than I do and will very probably be able to help in more ways than one.