I just wish the whole ‘mental capacity’ thing could be looked into. It seems a cop out at times for the medical profession and just leaves carers trying to deal with someone who is medically non compliant and may be a danger, not just to themselves, but to the person trying to care for them.
I agree totally. I also think that they should be done by someone independent. Too many times my son has been deemed to have capacity by someone directly involved with his care provision. If they decide he has capacity then they think it’s OK to reduce his care. At the moment I’m composing a letter to the head of Southern Health LD Services on this very subject. No one ever seems to consider how this upsets me. We waited years to have a family so we could have a lovely life together, we didn’t ask for him to be brain damaged at birth!
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I agree too.
When I wrote to my late husbands GP in desperation, he did decide to see him and do a capacity test. It was clear to me and my family that he was losing capacity in many ways. Just because hubby answered a few questions correctly like his date of birth, but then said the year we were in was 1980, the Dr thought he was getting tired!! Taking no notice of the many concerns I had . Months went by with him getting worse,. Me struggling to persuade him not to drive, etc…
I had been given false hope too that he hadn’t dementia. Knowing deep down he had.
Several of the relatives of residents in the nursing home hubby eventually was in said similar things.
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@bowlingbun I can imagine your distress as you go the extra mile for your son and what would happen if you were not prepared to ‘step in’ even though it is deterimental to your own health at times? Heaven knows what quality of support he would get if you were not there to fight for him.
@Pet66 I am so sorry that you had to go through what you did with your husband. I agree getting a diagnosis is so very hard, especially if like your husband and mine, they are highly articulate. I wrote to his GP too and it took every ounce of courage, as I am actually terrified of him. They were brilliant, and referred him for a scan and to the Memory clinic - the appointment took 6 months to come through. Consultant admitted scan showed ‘moderate shrinkage of the frontotemporal lobes’ and we had a long telecon - husband had to miss his initial appointment as he was in hospital. But when we had the actual appointment, Consultant seemed to row back, partially due to husband not wanting me to talk to him alone. Also because husband did well on the Memory Test and Consultant said that they had no choice but to discharge him back to the GP care but they could refer again in another 12 months. I think it may be down to ‘cost cutting’ but from what you have said, it has been going on for years. I was told my late father did not have dementia yet it was mentioned on the Death Certificate.
Friends have been shocked too as they know how hard I found it to do that letter. Yet I am left terrified to go out to a lunch with friends in case he tries to cook. I honestsly do not know what the answer is…a friend who used to work in Geriatric Mental Health thought he would at the very least be referred to Geriatric Mental Health Team but this was not even mentioned.