Meeting arranged without consulting me

I went about my day today, when I got back and turned on my Laptop; there was an email from the Procurement Team (that all involved dictate I go through with issues surrounding the Care Agency, even though they are far from helpful) stating that a meeting was to take place next Tuesday at my Mum’s house with the Care Agency and a named Social Worker (who I have never met) for a review of my Mum’s Care. I asked some time ago for a review with this person from the Commissioning Team and a Senior Carer, as per their own procedures, where family members can request one - but instead they have to have predominance as per. Always competition with these numbskulls.

I panicked, as I’m sick with exhaustion of being outnumbered/cornered/treated like a criminal, and emailed an MP and the Complaints Contact Co-ordinator at the local authority ( I even spent 1/2 hour trying to leave a message for them to phone me back, I was under so much pressure); who is assisting me with an investigation currently taking place, where I highlighted the meeting that got canceled Sept 2015 be reinstated with how many discrepancies have taken place since; including the Care Agency Manager sabotaging my Mum getting a fair CHC Assessment. Me thinks the timing of this meeting to coincide with the investigation underway is far from a coincidence, and they want to confuse my Mum even more; in their attempts to dictate and undermine me as per.

I emailed back asking that as there’s hasn’t been any sufficient notice for me to arrange support for the meeting, it needs to be postponed. The response; ‘I’ve forwarded your email for attention’.

I have since, just this evening; 9.30pm - heard on the Radio there is to be a Lockdown in the whole of the Greater Manchester region - hoping that’d delay their tactics. I have sent the Manchester Evening News link about the Lockdown measures. That the Mayor, Andy Burnham encouraging us to look after our vulnerable and elderly; and adding my Mum’s safety is top priority at this crucial time not a meeting.

Afterall, the Commissioning Team didn’t hesitate to have a go at me about there being a Pandemic, ‘where people are dying’ - what planet they’re on they should stay there; when I emailed them about an urgent concern I had with the Care Agency some time ago. Where I responded, ‘Who do you think you’re dealing with that attitude? My priority is my Mother’.

Surely such underhand tactics arranging the meeting without consulting me isn’t right? This is just one example of how they persist with their draconian tactics going on since 2012.

Oh Butterfly,
how stressful.

I have had dealings with social care since S was little and he is now 28, there is always an assumption that it’s ok to find a date that suits the ‘professionals’ and then the carer - who has nothing better to do - will just fit in with these arrangements. They had a shock when they realised they needed to fit around us and my commitments.

What are your main concerns about the meeting?


Unfortunately Butterfly I understand your difficulties with care agencies, social services and councils only too well.

When I’d finally had enough I made a complaint regarding the first care agency to the council. This agency then lied to the council regarded the completion of the log book and I was told to contact the ombudsman. When you’re caring for someone who is very poorly and you’re an uncontrolled epileptic the last thing you want is more tasks - and these officials understood that. The last carer (another agency) lied in the book about my not bringing in a chiropodist for my mum’s feet. I had a receipt from just over 2 weeks before this written lie. These are just examples of the lying that some carers are guilty of. I now supervise mum’s showering through a closed door.

If your social workers are anything like mine have been Butterfly then they’ll simply toe the line. I think you’ve made an excellent point regarding the Greater Manchester lockdown though and, as your mum’s carer who is acting absolutely in her best interests, that seems like your best route.

Good luck with everything, David

I have found social workers don’t toe the line, the social worker is just the messenger, the intermediary, its the managers that make the decisions and they are fixed.

Butterfly I have sent you a link through the message system, i really do think you need a lot more help, I hope this place can help you.

I was in a similar situation looking after my friend but just got walked all over by social services, he never got the right help and neither did i.

Then it’s a pity the social workers my mother and I have been burdened with haven’t had more strength to support those they care for rather than those for whom they act as messengers.

Its all about money and budgets, one social worker said would love to give more help but not allowed.

I think its very difficult for social workers, in the old days they did help, nowadays the budgets are limited and social workers just can’t, they are cutting services not increasing services.

So a social worker might be very nice, in my experience most aren’t but just won’t be able to help, don’t blame the social worker and many are quitting pressures of the job.
They are there to help but spend all day cutting services refusing help, not much fun.

Job advert do you want to take services away from people and make them end up in a care home, join our social worker team.

How many would apply?

Hi. Besides the fact I am never consulted about anything, I requested the Procurement Officer together with the Senior Carer, who used to come out to carry out Reviews. But instead they went above my head in deciding what needed to happen, and by so doing they’d put questions to my Mum according to what responses they want - has happened in the past. They’ve always called the shots.

I have tried getting Independent Advocacy Support since 2012, which is more of an uphill battle in itself. As I found BASW, where they have Independent Social Workers who carry out Advocacy Support, and came across the person who I messaged. We ended up in conversation, where they were eager to assist. But when the sent the Client Agreement, was far from what was agreed. I put in a Complaint, the only response/attitude I got was basically that they were ‘sorry’ I felt the need to put in a Complaint.

There have been a couple of other ones that have been just as difficult. The last one who is a qualified Social Worker and Registered Nurse was going to phone me today. I text asking if they could send me the email, after I text about the panic with the meeting that thankfully got cancelled due to the Lockdown measures in the Greater Manchester are. The email was on the lines she included ‘free advice’, but that she ‘wasn’t able to assist with Advocacy or any other Services in the future’.

Sick and tired of being penalized for not being perfect, when all I am trying to do is my best for my Mum.

it all sounds very frustrating and the stress can’t be good for you.

Well done for pointing out re the Greater Manchester Lockdown and having the meeting postponed.

Try and relax now during this local lockdown.