Looking for emotional safe place to be me


I’m a live in carer to my mother who as of 2 years ago is a wheelchair user. I have 2 ‘proper’ jobs that keep me at a laptop for 50 - 60 hours a week. I have a dog that needs attention and there’s a house and garden that need work.

I have reached the point of ‘this is not enough of a life for me - I want more’. As of last week I gave up alcohol, the one thing that truly helped me switch off, after one glass consistently came in an empty bottle. I have lost my liquid support system and Mum isn’t speaking to me because I won’t have cases of white wine in the house (I’m not fussed about any other alcohol and she usually drinks red). If she wants some white I said I’ll go buy her a bottle and pour away anything she doesn’t drink.

I’m feeling very alone right now. Can anyone else identify? This isn’t something I feel I can share with family / friends.

Thanks :frowning:

Hi and welcome to the forum!
You are not alone, we are sure that many on here will understand exactly how you feel and offer support. Caring can be very lonely and the pandemic has made caring responsibilities challenging as many carers have have been socially restricted and unable to attend social groups etc.
Carers UK are running online weekly meet ups for carers and you can find the information on how to register at Care for a Cuppa-Online meetups | Carers UK and Share and Learn-Share and Learn | Carers UK.
Our Telephone Number is 0808 808 7777 it is open from Monday to Friday, 9am-6pm our Email Address is (advice@carersuk.org).
They provide information and guidance to unpaid carers. This covers:-
-Benefits And Financial Support
-Your Rights As A Carer In The Workplace
-Carers Assessments And How To Get Support In Your Caring Role
-Services Available To Carers And The People You Care For
-How To Complain Effectively And Challenge Decisions.
Best wishes

Hi & welcome

You need more than emotional support.

It’s about time for extra help. What help with Mum’s care do you have. You can’t do it all yourself. Has Mum had a needs assessment and you a carers assessment.


How old is Mum?

Is Mum is receipt of attendance allowance. Attendance Allowance: Overview - GOV.UK


Can you get a dog walker for some of the week. And a cleaner to also help with shopping etc.

You need to lighten your load.

Dear JB_1234
Hi. I am just wondering whether you have found the initial message I sent you a few weeks ago to be beneficial and helpful to you. This is just a follow up message to see how you are getting on. Has anything changed for you in a good way or do you need more help? Please let me know how you are getting on. I hope your circumstances are ok.

If you look at JB_1234’s profile, you’ll see that they joined, posted, and last visited on the 8th May and have not been back since making their first post.

Dear Ayjay

Okay I will remember for next time.

Best Wishes