Lonely carer

Hi I’m Claire I’m 51 and I care for my two disabled adult children. I’m looking for friends, I’ve been on my own for the past 10 years and I feel so lonely

I’m fortunate ( I suppose, not really sure), in that I don’t crave the company of other people. In fact I do my best to avoid them for much of the time, especially when I’m out for a walk in the afternoon. I do however enjoy interaction on the internet, and others here will also be happy to chat: the monthly Roll Call is one such topic here where we just yack about anything.


Hi Claire and welcome to the forum.

Can I suggest you change your user name to protect your and your children’s identity, (unless of course its already a pen name.)

I care for S he has autism and related learning disability.

I know exactly what you mean, caring can be a lonely business but this pandemic has brought it to a whole new level. I used to crave ‘me’ time, now I also crave actual face-to-face contact with real people!!

Do you have any support with your caring role, do your adult children access any services?

Do you get any time to yourself?


Hi Melly, my son is in his last year of school so I do get some time , my daughter is at home full time so we go for walks and I do some cooking with her, I’m shielding her at the moment. I find it’s the evenings which are harder I never used to be lonely but I think covid has brought home how out of it I feel, thankyou for replying x

Hi Ayjay, thankyou for that I will look out for the roll call x

Welcome to the forum.
Have any long term plans been made for your children?
I know lockdown is making things much more difficult getting anything out of Social Services, but they can still use the phone and consider the future.

When did you last have a Carers Assessment, and your children, Needs Assessments?
Are you aware that at 16, they may be entitled to income related benefits?

Hi Claire,

will your son go on to college?

What does your daughter do when she isn’t shielding.

Good you are able to get out for walks and enjoy baking together. We do those activities too.

I agree the evenings seem long - they start so early don’t they? It will be good when the daylight hours start to slowly lengthen again from 21st December. Doesn’t help that the TV is such rubbish! Do you have any hobbies to help pass the time?


Hi Claire be strong,we all know how you feel,you will get good advice/support on here. Ian

Claire, you have had a few replies, but not responded yet. Hope you are OK?