Life will never get better and I'm afraid

Hello all I hope everyone is well ?
I don’t come here often as I feel like I’m always negative. But I have no one to talk to and I’m losing the will to live.

So my mum has been diagnosed with diabetes and I’m just been diagnosed as prediabetes. I’m so ashamed. This is all my fault. Life has been incredibly more harder. And me and mum have lost the will to live at this point. I cannot tell you the amount of guilt and resentment I have.

I’ve had to cut carbs and sugar out and both our appetites are gone.
Now she’s classified as even more vulnerable before . Which is like knife in my heart. On top of that I’ve been reading so much on diabetes and I’ve so scared and heartbroken. How could I be so stupid ?

On top of her having a stroke 9 years ago and being partially disabled she has to deal with this. It’s just too much.

I feel so hopeless. Life is so scary right now and the past 9 years have been hell. And the little hope I had is gone.

On top of that I had a fight with my brother, who just wanted to have a altercation. I’m 28 he is 19. I’m so angry and depressed. He threw Me on the floor,punched,kicked and choked me. And he is pretending nothing happened . All I did was push him away from my face as he kept coming closer and he just beat me like a was a man. And I couldnt do nothing as I’m older.

He doesn’t care. And for my mum’s sake I cannot do anything. This is not the first time he has done this. I even have a scar on my lip from before. I hate him.That same day I had to get a vaccine.

And I broke down in front of the nurse. She was so kind.i woke up I’m so much pain from the fight and the vaccine. My body aches so bad.

I’m so tired. And so done with life . But who will look after mum. This pandemic has shown me how the treat the vulnerable. So I’m stuck. And I’m afraid.

I can count how many times on my fingers people told me I would be a failure and wouldn’t amount to anything.they were all right.

At this point I’m so angry with myself. And I wish I wasn’t born. I don’t know why I’m here.
I’m sorry for the long stupid comment. Sorry for the negativity…I’m sorry.

Oh my goodness I am sorry for your troubles. I am sure those who have much more experience than I do will be along here soon to offer help.

Re your brother - he has assaulted you in your own home. Fighting and hurting people is not acceptable, what if he attacked your mum, would she just accept it? So I would go to the Police and log it, I don’t know what would happen after that but you should be able to feel safe in your home, and go to your GP to be checked over too.

If you are both Type II diabetic there are ways you can help yourselves through diet, again GP should be able to help.

Are you a registered carer for your mum?

Your brother should be banned from the house. He has absolutely NO right to assault you like this. You must talk to the police domestic abuse staff.


Oh you poor thing, so much to cope with.

You need to report this to the police. I know that’s not an easy thing to do but if you don’t he may do it again and you might end up in hospital or worse. That’s not fair on you and what would happen to your Mum then?

Does your Mum know what he did?

There is also advice here

Have you taken paracetamol to help with the vaccine side effects?

You really need your injuries checking over too.


Hi Melina

Life changes and it will get better for you. Under immense strain you are still standing, Don’t hesitate to phone the police they will arrest your brother away from the house. It worked for me. Never laid a finger on me again and I took control, his power was gone. The Samaritans are always there for advice, it has been extremely hard the last year, try not to be too critical of yourself, as I am sure you are a wonderful Carer and your Mum is lucky to have.

I wish you all the best.

Hello Melina,

you are precious, don’t give up on yourself. You are loved, your mum clearly loves you as you do her.

I was told I was prediabetic and I’ve been on the fast800 diet, lost a stone so far but it is designed by Dr Michael Mosley who had diabetes type 2 but has reversed it through his diet. I’m hoping I can stop my blood sugars rising too. It’s a shock to hear a diagnosis I know, but fortunately you haven’t got diabetes yet and hopefully your mum’s can be addressed through diet. This one has an online forum which includes a meal plan for two.

Could I suggest that you take care of yourself and remember the things that make/made you happy and try to make them part of your life perhaps? I’ve found a walk each day, even if only round a few blocks, helps. Please let us know how you are doing,

all the best to you- virtual hug (if you like hugs!)

None of us are responsible for the genes we inherit, you can’t blame yourself. You are caring for mum, that shows great love, how many other daughters do you know doing that? Be proud of what you are doing. Your brother is truly horrible, I don’t understand him at all. Has he always been nasty to you?

Hello Melina

Thanks for posting about your situation in the Forum. I’m sorry to hear that you’ve been having such a tough time recently. In addition to the suggestions from other members I have also sent you an email with some further suggestions of support that you may be able to access.

Wishing you well