I’m a carer for my wife she has ME a personality disorder and diabetes I’ve been carering for her full time for about five years now and while I was working about twenty years. I think I’ve come to the end of the road with her now as everything I is wrong I have no friends or family I can turn to for help and the NHS aren’t interested so I don’t know what to do anymore. I go to bed every day and hope that I won’t wake up ive contemplated suicide but I just can’t seem to do it. Sorry I don’t know what else to do.
John, you sound utterly exhausted, having done too much for far too long. What would help most?
When did you last have time to recharge your batteries, had real time off?
Hi & Welcome John
So sorry to read you are feeling very low and unsupported. I’m glad you have come to the forum as this will give you an outlet and speak to others who will not judge you.
What previous help have you asked for and been unsuccessful in getter the outcomes that you need?
There is help is knowing where to find it.
I’ve tried my doctor’s and they gave me six weeks of phone counseling. but I would rather have talked face to face with someone but due to COVID that wasn’t available. so I had to put up with someone on the phone which I felt was useless it was more like general chit chat. when that didn’t work I went managed to get a phone appointment with the doctor’s and told them that I wasn’t coping they just put my medication up. Then I couldn’t function so I came back down off them. I have been to the council carers group and asked for a break or some help but I was told that because my wife has ME they cannot offer me an help. So what do I do now.
I suggest you go back to the council. ME is a genuine and recognised condition, if poorly understood, and you and your wife are entitled to support. They need to explain specifically why they are saying they can’t help. If they are genuinely saying it’s because your wife has ME, then they need to explain how that fits with the Equality Act. I strongly suggest you also look at their website to see what they’re supposed to be offering before you go back to them.
The diagnosis of ME is irrelevant. What matters is the amount of care she NEEDS for daily life, and the amount of care you are having to provide.
Thank you everyone for your help I will do what has been suggested and we will see what happens.
Thanks again everyone.
Though I can’t give any advice. But I hope that your problem will be solved. Hope all is well with you and your wife.