Lack of sleep______

Hi iam new to the group, I have been caring for my husband for three years now, and am his sole carer, he is disabled as well as having mixed dementia, the hardest thing is the nights we get up two ,three,or four times a night, sometimes he needs the toilet sometimes not, the lack of sleep makes me frustrated then I feel guilty, does anyone have the same problem, marilyn

Heya and welcome.

I’ve had a poor sleep pattern for donkeys’ years, and at the moment I’m scraping by on about four hours, and if I’m lucky and can get drowsy enough, half an hour or so in the daytime. My wife’s care needs vary a great deal and some nights are worse than others, but as I sleep poorly anyway it doesn’t really matter.

When I’m really tired, I can get ratty. And yes, I feel guilty because it’s no one’s fault. Fortunately, my wife is very understanding on that part…

Have you talked to Social Services about this? Asked for day care so you can sleep uninterrupted? Are you claiming exemption from Council Tax and Attendance Allowance?

In case you haven’t done so, have you had a care needs and carers needs assessment?
If so, ask for a review and if not ask for the assessments to see what help you can get.

You have a lot to cope with and sleep is important for you.
Sleep deprivation is a form of torture.

Have you heard about sitting services? There are charities/organisations that can do 2 or 3 hours a week sitting with your caree, no medical or nursing care, they will chat, do puzzles, watch tv etc.
If you are lucky and have a few in the area you can use them. That time could be to go for a walk or whatever or try to get your head down for some more rest.

Have you been on the dementia website? that could be helpful to you as well as here in Carers UK.

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You do have my sympathy Marilyn. There are some good suggestions already posted and I have very little else to suggest.

I too have very disrupted sleep patterns as my husband sleeps downstairs but is medically non compliant and wont take his inhalers as instructed. I have sort of trained myself to not get up when he coughs as there is little I can do, but it still wakes me up. There are no easy answers but it might be worth contacting your GP? If your husband is a danger to himself, then sleeping pills would not be a viable option for you. Could the GP prescribe something for your husband to help him sleep through the night. Respite in the daytime is one option but I personally find it quite hard to catch up on sleep in the daytime.